May 01, 2012

The Kiss of Death

I love my boys.  I think they are funny and interesting and.....well, unexpected.  I love that they keep me on my toes.  I love how humble they keep me, I really do.

In March I was asked to sit on a parenting panel for a MOPS meeting at our church and the very next week I got to speak to the MOPS group at our church and the very next few week after that, both boys went off the deep end.  One wanted to run away, one acted like a lunatic at a party, one was failing a class, one said a bad word, one wasn't invited to a party.

Just in case I thought for some reason that I had the whole parenting thing all figured out, they clearly set out to prove that I don't.

To make it even better?  I have witnesses.  Yeah for me.

It was a good, swift kick in the hiney to remind me of several things:

1.  It is NEVER a good idea to let your self-image be wrapped up in the behavior of your kids.  That is a wild ride that will make you puke every single time.

2.  Do not let fear motivate parenting.  We fear our kid will walk out if we punish them, so we don't.  We fear our kid won't like us if we set boundaries, so we don't.  We fear our kid will fail, so we don't let them suffer the consequences of their actions.

3.  We clearly do not know our kids near as well as the One who actually created them.  It just might be a good idea to ask Him how to best raise them.  Parenting books are all fine and good, but they most definitely should not take the place of praying over our children and asking for wisdom every single day.....or hour.....or second.

4.  Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, is more of a witness to our kids than our own actions.  They can be preached at and in church 7 days a week but if they have parents that claim to be godly and act anything but, then they are getting nothing more than a good lesson in hypocrisy.

5.  A friend told me the other day that the older her kids get, the less judgemental she becomes of other parents.  The words, "My kid will never......" are the kiss of death.  Kids will mess up.  They will make choices that leave us with our jaws on the floor wondering which side of the family their genes came from.  They will question and argue and roll their eyes and slam a door and stomp out of a room.  My struggle is to not let those times define my success as a parent.

My kids aren't perfect.  Scot and I aren't perfect.

But He is perfect.

And I'm never accepting an invite to speak on parenting ever again.  Never, ever, ever again.


11 comments:

  1. LOL, I still think they are two of the most well behaved 5th and 7th graders that I know. We can all learn from each other. You have done a wonderful job. Must be answered prayers! Sharon

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    1. You are way too kind.....and have certainly been on the receiving end often enough of my venting frustration! Love you!

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  2. Me neither (accepting an invite to speak on parenting ever again). That's why I would much, much, MUCH rather give a talk on s-e-x. Unlike parenting, no one will ever be able to judge my performance. ;)

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    1. Hahahaha!!! I don't think I'm ready to talk about that either!! I love it and I miss you terribly......

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  3. Angela RucinskiMay 1, 2012 at 8:48 AM

    Love, Love, Love!!!!! And yes you will speak on a panel because that is just what is needed....REAL Mom's struggling with trying to raise REAL children in a world that is tough and cruel and we need to constantly be reminded that HE is the ultimate parent for us as well as our children! And boy do I have a story to tell you later...in private :) Not about one of yours but mine! hee hee
    Angela

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  4. You are a phenomenal parent. Your boys are blessed...and your husband, he is too. Quit making silly threats. ;) You know if you don't proclaim these truths the rocks will cry out. Not only would that freak me out, it would be way less funny that way.

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  5. You are just wonderful. And don't be making silly threats about not speaking. No matter how they choose on any given day, your boys are blesse by you--and Scot, he is also blessed. You are so right and so wise.

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  6. You are doing a great job stepping up to the challenge! The list had me laughing...because I have been right there these past weeks. It encouraged me to know I was not alone in this! Prayers and love:)

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  8. God is using you as you share your stories. I agree with Angela. We need moms that will stand up or come along side of other moms and be honest. I'm grateful that you were on that MOPS panel, because I sure did enjoy hearing you speak. Thank you for the reminder to pray for our children, that's a huge part of the problem today. Thanks to Jen W.. i have found your blog... You are a blessing, keep it up & keep smiling that beautiful smile!

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  9. Thank you Keri,
    I so needed to read this today! You are a blessing!
    Joany

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