February 27, 2010

Cleaning House

Stepping out the door every morning follows a frantic dash around the house to check for beds that are made, toilet seats down, dishes put away, toothpaste removed from the sink, and clothes put in the closet. It adds an easy 15 minutes to my morning, but it feels so good to know that my home is clean and in order. I walk in at the end of a busy day to an organized and spotless home and it makes me feel lighter.

When I spend daily time with God, I feel the exact same way. There's a few items here and there that need to be confessed, forgiven, talked about......put away, but I get to move about my day feeling spotless and whole. If I let too much time go by, stuff gets cluttered up and out of control and seems too overwhelming of a task to tackle. So I don't deal with it.......until something happens that forces me to deal with it.

In the past several years I have become much better at making my alone time with God a priority. It has made an enormous difference in my life. But, I'm not perfect, and days can slip by without my knees hitting the floor. The weight of the world quickly comes back and takes up residence on my shoulders........as quickly as closets become messy, papers pile up, and floors become a biohazard. I get frustrated and irritated - taking my frustrations out on people I love when God is waiting right there with a dust rag in His hand, holding it out to me and saying, "Let's get to work".

February 23, 2010

Trash Talking

The sign went up in front of the house on Thursday, but today is officially the first day we are open for showings.

Chirp, chirp..........chirp, chirp

There has most certainly not been a mad dash, but I am working very hard at not worrying about that. Instead I spend a lot of time praying for the sweet family that will eventually move into my home.

In the process of getting ready to sell the house, I have cleaned out many closets and drawers and thrown a TON of stuff away. Like the Pack 'n Play that I was holding onto for a just-in-case scenario. And then there were the 8 Min Abs, Legs, and Buns VHS tapes I threw out along with a pasta bowl I've had since we got married that has a ginormous crack in it.

I did happen upon a real treasure. Apparently I was throwing out some beloved toothbrushes a year or so ago and was consequently the recipient of this note from Garrett:

In case you can't decipher the writing it says, "No more trashing me and Nathan's tooth brush Mommy. Me and Nathan love our tooth brush."

For the record, I have never, ever forced them to share a toothbrush. I'm just assuming he hadn't learned plural nouns in school quite yet when he wrote this. I also can't remember the last time either one of them has called me "Mommy".

I absolutely love treasures like this one......I'll take this over firm Abs, Legs, and Buns any day of the week!

February 18, 2010

Falling from the sky

Beware!! This is a completely random post. Consider it a training excercise for the myriad of random posts that will flood my blog when we move. And believe me, there will be many!

About 2 years ago I left the house for an afternoon while some sweet ladies cleaned the house. I came home to news that a blade from our family room ceiling fan had just fallen off. It wasn't being cleaned (it is easily 15 feet off the ground), it just mysteriously set one of the blades free. I found that to be very odd.

Two weeks ago, the very same thing happened. Another blade from the ceiling fan got tired of the meaningless spinning and leaped to its death. Again I wasn't here and again I had dear friends in the house doing some cleaning for me. I began to wonder if the blades took advantage of my absence, afraid that I would practice my "Don't Jump......You Have So Much To Spin For" speech.

As ultra modern as our fan now looks, we needed to replace the blades......may they rest in peace. Fortunately we have a painter coming to the house today with one of those super huge ladders. I am hoping he wouldn't mind fixing the fan and maybe retrieving this little guy from his perch of over 2 years.

February 15, 2010


Wow! It is amazing how one or two weeks can stretch out to encompass a lifetime. It has been crazy around here as we get ready to put our house on the market next week. Scot leaves mid March for 8 weeks so we are trying to prepare for that - it is not going to be easy on our little family. It gives me incredible empathy for those who have loved ones serving overseas and the grueling separation that entails.

I am so thrilled that I got to go on my girl's weekend. It was pretty dicey there for a bit, but my mom swooped in and saved the day by offering to watch the boys. I'm not going to try to recap the whole entire weekend because my words will never do it justice. Suffice it to say that it was a full weekend of laughter, reality checks, calories, and long overdue face to face conversations.

I spent the majority of the weekend with the Yahoos in the mountains of Santa Fe where there was snow everywhere. It was absolutely beautiful. My friend's mom owns a house there and it feels so good to be in her home, I didn't want to leave.

We have a couple of time honored traditions that every girl's weekend must include. The very first night we have a "Clearing". We sit around in our pajamas and all 7 of us get uninterrupted time to share whatever has been going on in our lives so all of us get caught up at once. With 10 years of practice we have gotten very good at this and cut to the nitty gritty right away. Some need more time than others, some need more Kleenex than others, but it is the perfect start to our weekend.
Our other tradition is to do Questions. We all come up with a designated number of questions that we write on slips of paper. The questions can be thought provoking, random, or completely frivolous. We take turns picking a question out of the question bowl and then go around the group answering it. There is always an enormous bowl of candy present during Questions with Twizzlers being a must-have. I can not even describe the kinds of conversations that have taken off from Questions......or the complete hysteria. It is one of my very favorite things about the weekend.
I absolutely MUST mention the spa we visited while in Santa Fe. We had all been there before so at least we knew what to expect this time around, but it is the most necked spa I have ever been to. It's Santa Fe and they very much embrace all things natural there.

For example......because I am sure all of you really want an example.......I had a hot stone massage with Jae Bird. For real, that was her name. Anyways, normally the masseuse steps out of the room while you hang up your robe and position yourself on the table. Plenty of time to tuck in all the parts that need tucking. Oh, no. Not at this place. Jae Bird announces to me that she needs me to hang up my robe and proceeds to just stand there waiting for me. I can only imagine the expression on my face, or what my "aura" was telling her, because she then quickly snatched up a WASHCLOTH to hold in front of her as a way of giving me privacy.

A washcloth. Have you seen me???? 5 foot 11 inches on a frame that has never been referred to as "waif-ish" and she holds up a washcloth. I took a deep breath and just went for it. Call me Flash......I guarantee the hanging of the robe, face down body placement with all necessary tucking has never happened faster. Ever.

I am completely and morbidly fascinated with this place. Women of all shapes and sizes all over the dressing room, drying their hair, chatting with friends sans any kind of clothing. For an incredibly modest girl, it was a very "I don't know where to look" kind of experience. And maybe I'm just a little jealous of the comfort these women felt with their bodies. It certainly goes against what society has engrained in all of us.

Yahoos......Misti, Jenny, Kris, Susan, Lisa, and Julie.....I love you. Thank you for an incredible weekend!
The last 24 hours of my stay was with friends of mine from high school. One of them even drove in from Colorado and I am so very thankful she did. It was an intense 24 hours as the life reality of the last 20 years since high school came crashing down all around us. It was an intense time of catching up with each other mixed with the emotions that come from revisiting a place that holds all my childhood memories. It was a bittersweet time for me......more sweet than bitter......but I wouldn't trade those hours for anything in the world.

Melinda, Kay, Deb, Danica, and Bonnie......it was so wonderful to see each of you. Thank you for the most honest and authentic day. I love you guys!

I returned home to a flurry of activity with Nathan scoring his first part in the musical Annie. It is a very small part as an Apple Seller, but he gets some good stage time being part of the Company and I have relished my backstage role. I am the Fly Girl which means all the stuff that comes in from the ceiling is my responsibility. With rehearsal every single night last week and 3 performances this weekend I feel like I have been out of the loop around here for weeks.

Oh, and for those of you who pointed it out to me, I did know about Beth Moore's new book and the ironic timing of its release with this post. I haven't purchased it yet, but it's on my To Do list!

February 04, 2010

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Tomorrow I leave for Santa Fe. I am going with 6 friends - this will be our 10th Annual Girl's Weekend. We have all been friends for over 15 years and I can not wait to spend a few days with them!

We are an interesting and eclectic bunch........
  • We range in age from 39 to 48
  • We come from Texas, West Virginia, and Vancouver
  • 2 of us work full time outside of the home
  • We have all been married more than 14 years
  • We have loved each other through infertility, 9 miscarriages, and one infant death
  • We are Messianic Jew, Methodist, Baptist, and Catholics
  • 2 Girl's Weekends have been cancelled because of hurricanes
  • None of us change diapers during the day any longer........praise God!!!
  • Our friendships have weathered moving, disagreements, and irritable husbands.
  • Every single one of us loves M&Ms....and we eat a lot of them on our weekends.
I have gone a year or more between seeing some of these girls and yet it is like time has stood still when I see them once again. Somewhere along the line we started calling ourselves the "Yahoos" and it stuck......our children and husbands use that term and we have grown quite fond of it!

This year I have the added bonus of sticking around in Albuquerque where I went to school from 3rd-12th grade. "Girl's Weekend Take 2" means I get to hang out with some high school friends for about 24 hours. I am happy to say that 20 plus years after high school, I would still choose each one of them again as a friend.

It's going to be a busy whirlwind of a weekend and I'm going to enjoy every single second of it, because when I get home I get to start working on all that is involved in moving us halfway across the world. It overwhelms me just thinking about it......I need a M&M quick!

February 01, 2010


She walked into the room feeling timid and unsure of herself. She noticed the groups of friends gathered together laughing and chatting easily. She looked for the perfect place to sit where she could be alone, but not separated.

As the event began, she wished more than once that she had gone with her instinct to stay home. She was frustrated with herself for feeling so insecure and yet, was overcome with the starkness of the emotion. Nothing feels quite as horrible as being alone when you don't want to be.

She battled the desire to proclaim to all around her that even though she was alone in that moment, she was really loved outside this room. She wanted everyone to know that she was interesting and worth getting to know. She was amazed that in an instant you could go from confident and sure to desperate and naked.

She stood and sang the words:
"You are my everything"

and yet her tears and emotion gave her away. She was lying.

He is not her everything. He is important and loved by her, but approval and support by others is her everything. This realization made her mad......mad at herself and undeservingly mad at those around her.

She left that night knowing there was still much work to be done. That in order for Him to be her Everything she would have to surrender her insecurity.

I still have much work to do.

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