Goldfish and Lemongrass

This is going to be a quick and not well edited blog post.

Which means I'm clearly delusional in thinking my other blog posts ARE well edited.  I'm a girl that has a healthy love for the comma which would certainly drive any English, major, crazy, seriously, I'm not kidding.  I love the"......" too even though it has a name I don't remember....

In exactly one hour I will be leaving on a jet plane heading to Israel.  I'm going to be with 23 other women on an intense 10 day study tour.  And by intense, I mean we've easily spent 40 hours doing map work and reading to prepare for this trip.  It's like being in graduate school except for no tests or papers to write or an unhealthy addiction to Diet Coke.

These past couple of months have been incredibly busy around here with Scot and I passing in the night on some occasions.  I think we will have spent a total of 4 days together in all of February.  I told my Grandmother that it's a good thing we are well past our trying to have a baby days because I would be one irritated woman waving an ovulation test in front of my man on Skype.

Since I told my Grandmother that, I figured it was ok to type it.....even if it borders on TMI.  Or dives right into TMI.

Three days ago Scot came home from a trip to the states where he stocked up for us.  He came home with 195 pounds of luggage and about 12 of those pounds were actually his things.

It was like Christmas around here.  All the excitement of the new and then all the mess of figuring out where it all goes.  It looked like Target had thrown up on our dining room table.  There were Christmas cards to read that had been sent to our Houston address, clothes for the boys that seem to be growing like lemongrass (weeds don't apply to our new Asian lifestyle and I'm trying to be relevant) and enough Goldfish to feed a small country.

Oh right, we live in a small country.

Ok, enough Goldfish to feed my two sons that are growing like lemongrass.

I have to say that the table felt like a perfect representation of my life right now.  Crazy and unorganized and often overwhelming.

Some call it "having a lot on my plate", some call it "too many balls in the air", I call it "there's no wonder I'm getting grayer by the minute".

I took a deep breath and decided to just start working.  One item at a time until the table was cleaned off.

Literally and figuratively.

Now I have 45 minutes until I climb on a plane and read something completely silly and irrelevant and watch movies that I haven't seen and hopefully sleep until 21 hours later I get to see my sister in Israel.

I'll get to wear these new hiking shoes that will make me look super smart while I'm studying in Israel.  And they have my new orthotics in them that I had to have made for my foot issues which will make me look super old.   

Nice.

I am now sitting at the airport trying to finish this in some sort of nice meaningful way.  I'm trying not to be too emotional about being away from my boys for 2 weeks.  I sent Scot a text telling him that if something happened to me to please make sure the boys grow up loving Jesus, being gentlemen and marry great women.  

He responded with "OK".

That's it.  He knows me well.  It's going to be ok.

Until I get home and the dining room table looks like the printer at the school and the Goldfish and various sports equipment had thrown up all over it.  

In the mood for a chat

In a life that has come to feel almost normal, I love it when all of a sudden something happens to remind me that my life is........well, different.  Strange, even.  Maybe strange isn't the right word.  Foreign?  Where's my thesaurus when I need it?  

Oh, right....it's back in 1987 from the last time I actually used one.

Over the last 6 months I have snapped a couple pictures of things that make me chuckle on the inside.  Like this menu from Chilis where they not only give the phonetic spelling of fajitas, but they actually have a step by step pictorial of how to fold a fajita.

Folks, we ain't in Texas any more.

Then you have to pay $45 for small Fa Hee Tuz and I am not chuckling any more.

There was the time I was at a grocery store and an entire aisle was devoted to this product......Cow Ghee.  You can't find Rotel or coconut or pine nuts for less than $1 a nut, but Cow Ghee?  Oh, yeah.....they've totally got you covered!

I think someone told me it's purified butter.  I don't know if that really matters because the looks of it still makes me throw up in my mouth a little bit.  

One day my Adventure Club friends were pulling out of a parking lot after spending a few hours risking life and limb in the name of fun, and all of a sudden the car load of adventure girls in front of us stopped while one hung out a window to take a picture.  

Even a Baptist girl thinks this is funny..........and knows not to make any further comments.  

Even though she is really, really tempted to.

There are a lot of "lost in translation" moments but I think this description means exactly what it says.  This one I can't claim......stole it from a friend with her permission but without her testimonial on the truthfulness of the advertising.

We have just wrapped up Chinese New Year in this part of the world.  I would say this is the biggest holiday in Asia.  If I was a good expat, I would know all the ins and outs of the traditions surrounding this holiday.  

But I'm not a good expat but am good friends with good expats so if you really want to know, I can put you in touch with someone!

I didn't take many pictures this year, but couldn't help myself during the traditional Lion Dance that came to our apartment building.  These happen all over the place as they are meant to bring prosperity and good fortune to whichever place of business they visit.

There are usually two lions and they dance to loud drums and cymbals.  

The oranges and lettuce are the "offering" given to the lions and they will "chew up" the lettuce and spit it out and then peel the oranges and leave the peels to symbolize good fortune.

Then the dragon thing came out and they did cool things with it.  How's that for informational?  Just call me Mizz Wikipedia.

During the whole event, Nathan could hardly contain his excitement.  Some kids are woken up by alarms or their parents or the lure of a good cartoon.  This day, Nathan was woken up by lion dancing.  I think the charm of that is lost on him.

And since I am going to be in a TON of trouble if he sees this picture, here's a shot of him about a millisecond before hitting a solid double to the outfield.  

Life is extremely busy around here right now.  I have two good friends from Houston coming to visit me for a week......they are bringing me a big bag of pine nuts and that makes me very, very happy.  I am going to soak in every single moment with them and hope it will hold me over until I see Texas again in the summer.  

When they go home, I have a week before leaving on a 2 week study trip in Israel with 23 other women.  In order to prepare for that we've done about 40 hours worth of map work.

I am very, very smart now. 

I also thought it would be a good idea to read the Bible in its entirety before going.  You know, because 40 hours of map work just isn't enough.  Let's power through Ezekiel as well!  

Needless to say, I'm behind and that irritates me but I'm determined to get it done.  

I'm determined because I'm trying really, really hard to embrace discipline.  Let's just say that all the suggestions to read the book Made to Crave did not fall on deaf ears and I'm currently on Chapter 5 of a book that was written all about me.

It was.  I don't care what the author says.......she is going to be owing me some royalties.

In my embracing discipline I've tightened down the hatches in the food department.  I was doing great with my egg and veggie breakfasts and then yesterday.......

Yesterday was the day that my egg had a feather attached to it.  

It wasn't a huge feather, but did it need to be???  This is why I stick to donuts.  And could clearly use a manicure.

Well, it was nice having this random little chat with all of you.  No more procrastinating, I must get back to being disciplined.  

Actually, all this discipline is exhausting me....I'm going to bed because tomorrow Texas is coming to visit and we are going to make Fa Hee Tuz without using any instructions!

The "D" Word

I vividly remember the days when I would sit on the bottom step of our staircase and watch out the front windows of our house waiting for the boys to come home from school.  I remember the sound of little boy voices competing with each other in the telling of their day.  I remember fixing them a snack and sitting at our table with one on either side of me as I helped with daily homework.

I remember the look on their faces as they would fill me in on who said the "S" word on the bus and my utter horror at the thought of some snotty nosed kid stealing the innocence of my boys.

I then remember them whispering to me the dreaded "S" word.

Mom, he said STUPID.

One boy would sit in awe of the tenaciousness of his brother as he actually dared to use the bad word while I would release a huge sigh of relief knowing innocence remained intact for one more day.

Then came the day when the "S" word really meant the "S" word.  And all the other words that are described by the one poor letter of the alphabet that never did anything to anyone.   The day when I started getting a grunt in response to questions about their day.  The day when fixing a snack meant opening a bag of chips and eating the whole thing.  The day when I just wasn't smart enough to help with homework anymore.  

In my world there are words that are bad just because of everything they mean....or I just get grossed out by the sound of it.  One word I despise?  

Ugh....I'm getting sweaty palms just thinking about typing it.

Moist

That is just an awful word with ZERO positive connotations to it.  ZERO.  Yes, I have gotten used to being inundated with the word when people find out I don't like it but you will never, ever, ever, ever in a gazillion years EVER hear me use that word.  It will from here on out be known as the "M" word.

The other word?

Discipline

Don't go rolling your eyes.  I'm just telling it like it is.  

Lately, I have been In. A. Mood.

Can I get a witness, Scot?

Scot?

Oh, that's right.  He is running every errand known to man to try and stay out of my way.  A mood people, and it ain't been pretty so I'm feeling the need to unload.  Aren't you excited?

Being disciplined is something I have struggled with my entire life. 

I do happen to have a sister who got all the discipline genes I'm lacking plus a thousand more.  You just can't talk that girl out of being good.  She eats healthy every single day.....not just on Monday.  She exercises whether rain or shine and not a day goes by that she doesn't spend good, quality time with God. I am in complete awe of her.  

I can't even manage to be disciplined with things like allowance.  I think I owe Garrett about $924 at this point.

OH!!  I am proud to say that I am disciplined with which direction I like the toilet paper to roll.  Oh!  And I'm also disciplined in putting chapstick on before bed.  Does that count?  Is it more of an addiction?  For the sake of argument, we're going with discipline.

I struggle the most with food.  It's just the truth.  It's not my only struggle, but it's the biggest one.

I am the worst at having just one or two cookies and then finishing off the whole batch so it won't be there to tempt me tomorrow.  Or messing up at 8:42 in the morning and totally splurging the rest of the day because it was already a lost cause.  Or being determined to start eating right on Tuesday but waiting until that next Monday because who starts a diet in the middle of the week?

I'm not making light of this because many of you know my struggles in the past have been real.  And in all my attempts at keeping that part of my life  (a struggle with the "P" word)* a secret, God has asked me on more than one occasion to share because it was Him that saved me.

But Oreos are still being made and popcorn still begs for a handful of M and Ms and rainy days are still made for curling up under a fuzzy blanket doing nothing.  

And discipline still eludes me.  I waste an afternoon away on the computer reading about women who lead super amazing disciplined lives when closets need to be cleaned out, I choose a good TV show about disciplined people over exercise, and I won't even mention what dinner looks like half the time at our house. 

That's it.

I don't have any magic ending to this post where I tell you that I all of a sudden got a large dose of discipline and dropped 20 pounds in a week and every closet is now organized by color.  I'm just telling you that again today I asked for forgiveness for my lack of discipline and I am tired of apologizing for the same thing over and over.  

No big theological answer and I have no idea how you say "Discipline" in Greek or Hebrew, I just know I struggle with it.

Maybe I'm just sitting here hoping I'm not the only one.

Now I must go bake some brownies for a thing at church tomorrow and no, the irony of that is not lost on me.  

Nice, warm, somewhere between raw batter and dry, brownies.  

I told you I won't ever say that word!!

*At the rate I'm going, not one letter in the alphabet is going to be safe from me.  "E"......you're next on my list!

We Need To Talk

Scot and I had a much needed lunch date before Christmas.  The lunch started with his all time favorite four words...

We Need To Talk

He swears those four words cause dread in every man.  I think he's over exaggerating. There's nothing better than a good in depth conversation where we share our thoughts and feelings....where hours slip by unnoticed because you are so absorbed in the conversation.

According to Scot, having his fingernails pulled out one by one would be more fun.

Whatever.

Anyways, we were at lunch and I informed him that I thought we needed to buy a house in Houston.  We then needed to rent out said house to a friend of mine and then I would feel more rooted and could stay there when I went home and could have all my stuff that is in storage delivered to the house and unpacked and then I could get my Fall and Christmas decorations and bring them back to Singapore with me.

He looked at me for a solid moment before he said....

So let me get this straight.

You want your Fall and Christmas decorations here in Singapore

and your solution to that problem is to BUY A HOUSE??

Ok, so it made much more sense in my head.  It is all kinds of fun being married to me.

You can maybe understand why he was slightly afraid that we'd go to Cambodia and I'd give away everything we have and come home with four extra kids.  

I react.  It's just what I do.

I had promised him that I wouldn't make any commitments and would limit my knee jerk reactions until after he and I had a chance to make some decisions together.

Although it was hard at times, I did a very good job of asking loads of questions, doing a lot of listening, and just absorbing all our time in Cambodia had to offer. 

Because we aren't just talking Christmas decorations here.  

We're talking about the lives of children.  Children who have had much of their childhood stolen from them and in some instances, their innocence.  We're talking about young adults that are investing every moment of every day into some boys in the hopes that they can give them a future.  We're talking about an opportunity to invest in a ministry where every single dollar counts for something. 

These kids and these ministries deserve nothing less than a very purposeful and thought-out reaction with a whole lot of prayer driving the decision.  Throwing a few hundred dollars their way to ease my guilt or discomfort over their situation?

They flat out deserve better than that.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with acting on impulse in a situation where help is needed.  I have a problem with acting on impulse, feeling better about the situation, and returning back to life as normal without some attempt to be an ongoing part of the solution.

In the course of planning for this trip, being on the trip, and after the trip, many people have been incredibly supportive and encouraging.  We've heard over and over how amazing we are to have gone on the trip.

I don't want to discount those words at all because I know they were said so sweetly.

It's just that I don't think we are all that amazing.  

James 1:27 says this:

Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this:

to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself

from being polluted by the world.

I can only speak for myself when I say that I fight constantly to not be "polluted by the world".  Entitlement, discontentment, and blurring many lines are what I battle with.  

I really don't want to leave those words written there, but it's truth.

Our time in Cambodia was nothing more than practicing obedience to what we as Christians have been told to do.  There are many, many people that do exceedingly more than we do at a much greater sacrifice and those people are who I consider to be amazing.  Not us.  

I think my time in Cambodia was an opportunity to get rid of some pollution in my life.  And I have to be honest, it was so much easier to breathe.

Because some of you have asked, I am providing information on the Boy's Center for you below.  

The facts:

The Boy's Center (officially called Punlok Thmey which is Khmer for New Growth) needs $4500 a month to keep its doors open and meet some of their goals.  They have only been open since September 2011.

They are supported 100% through individual donations and right now they are receiving $700 a month.  They fall under International Outreach Ministries and all donations are tax deductable.

They had a fundraiser walk-a-thon last year called Traffick Jam that raised enough support to keep their doors open.  They would like to get to a point where Traffick Jam money is used for things like buying more computers or improvements on the Center.

The ladies that are running the center have raised their own support in the states and the Cambodian employees currently make around $150 a month.  The goal is to raise that amount closer to $200.

Their goals are to be able to provide lunch for the boys that walk through the doors and that would cost $75 a week to feed close to 100 kids.

They would also like to become a safety shelter that is open all night for boys who find themselves in dangerous situations and need somewhere to go.

Every single red cent donated goes directly to them and what they are doing.  You can read more about it and donate here.  

If you have any other questions, you can contact me at keri@me.com.  

My hope is that we can go back to Cambodia in May before we head home for the summer.  I just don't want to live my life without frequent doses of these four amazing people and a whole lot of awesome kiddos.

And if you ever want to go with me?

Well then, We Need To Talk!

Speechless

Two days ago our group of nine crawled out of bed early to catch a bus to Siem Reap.  It was a six hour bus ride including a stop for lunch that was less than appetizing.  Let's just say that Nathan practiced trying to catch a fly with his chop sticks the entire meal.....and he had many victims to choose from.

We arrived in Siem Reap a little unsure of our agenda.  All twelve orphanages under Asia's Hope in Cambodia were going to be here and the goal was to spend some more time with our kiddos from Vista.  We got here a day before the kids so we had some time to explore Angkor Wat along with other famous temples.  Apparently it's amazing to see Angkor Wat at sunrise so we got up at 4 a.m. and made our way by tuk tuk in the dark to this historical location.



I know very little about these temples.  I did zero research before going and we opted out of getting a guide which was fine with me seeing as how I can get impatient with Scot for reading an informative sign never mind listening to someone talk about carvings for an hour.  As it turned out, we spent ten hours exploring, climbing, and coercing the kids with promises of pool time and snacks.  I took hundreds of pictures and was overall amazed with all we saw.

Marla and I were both fighting off stomach issues this day.  We never did figure out what caused it in either of us, but my guess is that whatever found me to be tasty enough to bite me over 40 times may have caused my fever, nausea and vomiting all afternoon and evening.  

I opted out of dinner retreating under my covers alternating between swearing off food for the rest of my life, wanting to take a bristle brush to my legs, and freezing from fever.  Marla checked on me when they got back and informed me that all twelve orphanages would be having a Christmas program in the morning and we were invited to join.

There was NO way I was going to miss out on my last chance to see the kids.

Oh my.  There are zero words to express how much this morning meant to me.  A room full of kids and their house parents all dressed in costume and with props since each orphanage was going to have a chance to perform.

The feeling of being recognized by our kids and having them run to us and proudly lead us to seats in the front row.  The feeling of all those sweet arms wrapped around my neck.  The feeling as we watched the kids perform.

The Most Adorable Award went to these cute kids dressed as lambs.

While we were at the guest house in Phnom Phen we had the opportunity to meet two young men in their 20's, Jarod and Chris, that recently moved to Cambodia to help a local church.  I asked a ton of questions and found out that Jarod's family supports at least one of the orphanages.  His family is also responsible for gifting all the kids with the trip to Siem Reap.  His parents were flying to Cambodia in time for the Christmas program. I have to say that watching Jarod's dad while the kids from the orphanage he supports sang on stage, was almost more than I could take.  He grinned and cheered on the kids and his wife cried through the entire thing and I was a huge mess.  The kids sang Worthy is the Lamb....one of my all time favorites....and I could barely contain myself.





Then it was time for our kids.  We hooted and hollered and clapped as they went on stage to perform a fishing dance.  I couldn't resist the picture of Sovern, the house dad, as he recorded his kid's performance.






It ended too quickly and I was dreading our good-byes.  We gathered together for one last group photo......I'm hidden in the middle surrounded by the kids.  Absolute heaven.



Sovern let them know we were leaving and we started hugging the kids.  I was holding it together until I saw this....



very quickly followed by this.....



but the damage was already done and I was a goner.  I was hugging and promising to visit again and trying to keep some composure.  I looked around for Scot and saw that he wasn't doing much better than I was.



This is certainly nowhere near the most attractive photo ever taken of us.  But what I see when I look at this picture is not a girl with a swollen nose from crying or red eyes or hair that needs to be washed....what I see is a couple who has been challenged and changed by a group of 22 orphans, 4 young adults trying to make a difference at the Boy's Center, and the incredible Taviano family.

I am amazed at how much life we have lived in the last 8 days and it was possible because of the vision and passion of Marla and her family.  They worked tirelessly as a family for a year to raise the funds to get here and I am humbled by the depth of their love for the people in Cambodia.

I had never met Marla in person and we had no idea what was going to happen when our families joined together in some difficult situations, 24/7, for eight days.  In my wildest dreams I could not have imagined it being any more perfect than it was.  Marla and I were instant real life friends, our husbands got along great and our kids were inseparable.

Our families said good-bye to each other tonight and there were lots of tears.  I just don't want it to be over.  It makes me smile to write that sentence remembering how I felt just a couple of weeks ago.  Wow......things have changed!

I know this post is super long and I'm sure that's against some sort of blogging rule but I am at a loss for how to wrap things up.

Let's just say that I am speechless.

Except for this.....

God is so, so, so very good.

An Extraordinary Day

It was a morning unlike any Christmas morning we've ever had before.  There was no tree, no decorations, no cinnamon rolls and coffee, and no presents.

Or so we thought.

Because turns out the Tavianos got a word from God and gifted us with a bag of Peanut Butter M&Ms and there was great rejoicing by the Jenkins.  They also gave us a super fun game and an adorable birthday banner that Marla's sister had made.

We are staying at a guest house run by a pastor and his wife.  They have been incredible hosts and work hard to provide an affordable and comfortable place for short term missionaries to stay.  There is a beautiful courtyard where most mornings you will find the kids playing chase and the adults on laptops.

Christmas morning was no different except the kids had something special brewing for the four of us adults.  I was called in to assist as narrator and was in awe at the homemade costumes and organization as they put together a re-enactment of the Christmas story to usher in Christmas Day.  There was the normal bickering as they worked through their creative differences (aka: Nathan wasn't getting to  run the show) and then Garrett rang the 5 min warning bell.

I knew that dragging him to the theater would come in handy!

They had placed plastic chairs in a row with my chair stuck in some bushes because apparently narrating meant channeling my inner Disney where music and magical voices come from vegetation.

The story opened up with Mary receiving a visit from the angel Gabriel.....



Mary and Joseph proceeding into Bethlehem.  Not pictured....Nathan as the donkey Mary rode.  And don't let Garrett's face fool you, he was totally into the whole thing.

There was an adorable shepherd that played her part perfectly.  Not pictured....Nathan as a lamb and then Nathan as a wise man.  The costume changes were frantic but he managed to pull it off. 

They finished up the telling of the Christmas story by singing a few Christmas carols and I can honestly say it was perfect.  It was spontaneous, home made, and wonderful.

After a few rounds of Spot It (you must get this game....it is crazy fun), we headed out for lunch and then to the riverfront to wait on the entire orphanage to arrive.  Asia's Hope was treating them to an hour long boat ride along the river and the kids were super excited!



The river is really low right now and not particularly pretty, but that didn't stop these kids from loving every moment of it.



Our kids had a great time with their friends....there was a lot of running and laughing and posing while Marla and I prayed no one would go over the railing that was about a foot high on top of the boat.









It seemed only appropriate that our two real life angels from the Boy's Center, Yvonne and Steph, joined us on the boat ride.  I find it incredible that they both are involved in ministries outside of their own.  I'm just in complete awe of them.



After the boat ride we took the kids out for fried chicken, french fries, and ice cream cones.  They were in heaven!!!  It was a huge treat for them and I was so impressed at how sweet and gracious they were....all 20 of them.

Christmas night we had tickets to a church event.  Panha and Visna are brothers that work with Yvonne and Steph at the Boy's Center.  They invited us and we were honored to attend this not so small event.



And then came dinner.....



Because we didn't get a chance to give Panha and Veasna the gifts we had brought them, we did it today.  If you remember from a couple of posts ago about Panha sneaking up into the toy room at the Boy's Center to play with toys, you can understand how excited we were to give him his presents.  The Tavianos were super generous with both of them and we gave them micro lego type things.





After reading about Panha, Nathan had decided to give him his PSP and some games.....along with a verbal instruction manual.



If our boys turn out anything like these two when they are older, I would be thrilled.

We leave in this morning for Siem Reap which is a 5-6 hour bus ride from here.  Heaven help me.

That meant saying good-bye to our new friends and it wasn't easy.  I have been inspired and humbled by the people we've met here.  They make me want to be a better person.

Last picture with our tuk tuk drivers.....Po Heng and Po Sivana.

I can not believe how quickly these last 6 days have flown by.  We have 3 days in Siem Reap, Cambodia before we begin our journey home.  All four of us are excited to come back to Phnom Phen to spend time with our new friends and continue to invest in the amazing things God is doing through some folks that are faithful and humble and obedient and self-sacrificing.

Now that we know, we have to do something.  It is, I believe, one of the reasons we are here.

Thank you all for your words of encouragement and prayer.  It has meant a lot to all of us!

Merry Christmas!!!!