One Word

I gave up on New Year resolutions a long time ago.  I tend to beat myself up pretty badly over failure and I ALWAYS failed at the whole resolution thing.  I never even made it out of the month of January before failing miserably so I decided resolutions were not for me.  Unless my resolution was to be consistently inconsistent in which case I was overwhelmingly successful.

A few years back when the trend began to pick One Word to take into the New Year, I halfheartedly participated.  I think I picked Love as my first word knowing that chances were pretty good I was going to Love someone at some point for most of the year.  Therefore, I was officially a girl who totally rocked the One Word New Year challenge.  Put it on a necklace and call it success.  

I have enjoyed reading everyone's One Word in the last week or so.  It seems that people are now feeling challenged to pick the One Word that no one else is using.  Love, Hope, Faith, Patience....all great words - all have been used before.  How about Indefatigability?  Or Pertinacity?  Or Staunch?  That's a good one.  Staunch.  

"What is your word for 2014?"

"Staunch.  It so beautifully describes who I want to be this year.  Not to be confused with Paunch which is a whole other issue to be dealt with this year."

Needless to say, I don't have a word for 2014.  At least not one that is inspiring in any way.  Right now my word would be Uncertain or Apathetic or Irritated.

There is some big stuff going on in my little family right now.  Details will have to wait until a more appropriate time but suffice it to say, my world is being shaken up a bit and I am pouting.

I know that God is in control.  I know that His will is perfect.  He has proven over and over again that He knows best how to take care of us.  

I know all of that but at the same time I have been struggling these last couple of months with feeling very spiritually dried up.  Almost like I'm in a stand off with God.  One of us is going to have to cave, admit some hard stuff and submit.  Chances are pretty good that it's going to be me.  

The kicker is that I don't have the luxury of pulling up a chair to a pity party for one.  I have a husband that needs my love and support and I have children who watch how we handle every little thing.  I have a leadership role at church that requires me to be very plugged in to God's will and loads of people that I need to do a good job of loving.  All of those things hinge on me being spiritually healthy.

How do I sum all of that up into a nice One Word for 2014?  I don't.  Frankly, it's going to take every single word in the book this year.  

Authenticity is a word that I love and value greatly and maybe that is the word I am embracing today.  

Surrender is another word.....maybe for tomorrow.  

Strength is a good one that I need to strive for every day.

Sugar.....ok, maybe not that one.  

Excitement pops its head up here and there.  

Determination is lurking in there somewhere.  I think it's hiding under Surrender.  

Integrity, love, forgiveness, peace, perseverance.....I will take them all, thank you very much.

Jesus....a word, a name, power...all wrapped up in one.  I need that one every single second.

At this point, I'll even take Staunch. I can't afford to leave any of the good words out of my New Year.
Well, except for Paunch.  I am going to actively try to rid myself of that one once and for all.