February 01, 2010


She walked into the room feeling timid and unsure of herself. She noticed the groups of friends gathered together laughing and chatting easily. She looked for the perfect place to sit where she could be alone, but not separated.

As the event began, she wished more than once that she had gone with her instinct to stay home. She was frustrated with herself for feeling so insecure and yet, was overcome with the starkness of the emotion. Nothing feels quite as horrible as being alone when you don't want to be.

She battled the desire to proclaim to all around her that even though she was alone in that moment, she was really loved outside this room. She wanted everyone to know that she was interesting and worth getting to know. She was amazed that in an instant you could go from confident and sure to desperate and naked.

She stood and sang the words:
"You are my everything"

and yet her tears and emotion gave her away. She was lying.

He is not her everything. He is important and loved by her, but approval and support by others is her everything. This realization made her mad......mad at herself and undeservingly mad at those around her.

She left that night knowing there was still much work to be done. That in order for Him to be her Everything she would have to surrender her insecurity.

I still have much work to do.


  1. Good thing is you aren't doing it alone.
    "being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;" Philippians 1:6. Praying for you. Love you.

  2. Oh, Keri. You've gotten inside my head again...I love you for it.

  3. Wow, I literally have goosebumps from that. Amazing how you can take that all-so-familiar-but-oh-so-guarded feeling and put it into words. Wow.



Site design by Fabulous K Creative