I've Been Rejuvenated!

I don't even know where to start.

God did it again.  If you were in the Houston area around 4:00 yesterday afternoon, you may have heard some strange wailing sounds coming from the NW side of town.  That was me.  Face down on the floor of my room having a tantrum in front of God.  I was scared to death of facing 100+ teens and women.  I was questioning everything I had prepared for those girls.  I was mad at God because He thinks it's funny to tweak the lesson THE DAY OF, when time is running out to be rehearsed.  It was ugly........in a somewhat restrained way because I had splurged and had Jessica blow out my hair and so it was ugly in a "respect the hair" kind of way.  

In all my begging for God to deliver me, He picked me up.  He started speaking softly to my heart and I knew that He needed me to be totally empty of myself so that He could shine through.  A painful process for me, necessary for His will to be done.

I am not exaggerating when I tell you that I know exactly ONE teenage girl.  I was a little bit intimidated, but my heart was so full of love for every one of them.  The ones that are in leadership, the ones that are new to the label of "teen", and the ones who have moms that bought them a ticket and forced them to go.  

I'll just say that once again, God's peace descended all over me and I just went for it.  I made it all the way through without crying, although I came close more than once.  I believe so strongly in what I was trying to share with them that I was afraid of not doing the message justice.  I have to trust that God took something, anything, I said and planted some seeds.  

Do NOT let your relationship with God be all about head knowledge.  Experience who He is, fall in love with Him, nurture a heart relationship with Him.

I had the privilege of meeting some adorable girls last night.  One of them sat down with me and poured her heart out about some real hard stuff.  It honestly made me mad.  It made me mad at satan for picking on these sweet girls, for picking on me, when at an age where you are still too innocent to know when you're being attacked.  I begged her to fight back.  Please, please, please don't let our enemy steal who you are in Christ Jesus. 

Today I am mellow.  Relieved?  A little bit.  I'm sad it's over.  My human side is wishing I had done and said some things differently.  

Most of all,  I feel so honored that for some reason God picked me, a flawed, insecure woman, to talk with His girls.  I honestly don't feel worthy.

Rachelle (the Director of Girl's Ministry at our church), me, and 3 of the most adorable teen leaders you've ever met!