May 23, 2011

Egg Wash and Turkey Plates

As the school year winds down so do many of the responsibilities that keep a girl busy during the week. We have taken advantage of some free days to check a few things off the "must do" list......a list that seems to get more extensive the longer we are here.

It was a few months after moving here that Tiffany, Lisa, and I started hearing rumors of a plate factory in Malaysia that was a popular destination to buy nice plates for very little money.

Like Spode plates.

Which means nothing at all to me, but the Martha Stewart types seem to get really excited about these Spode plates.....especially the Christmas and Turkey ones.

Personally, I was just going along for the ride because I didn't want to miss out on anything but I could honestly care less about plates. Spode or otherwise.

We picked a day and began planning only like four women can. We could have been stranded in Malaysia for weeks with as many provisions as we brought along with us. Food, magazines, toilet paper......we were prepared!

It is a known fact that traveling in Malaysia is not always safe. Rumor has it that a popular scheme is to egg a tourist's windshield and when you attempt to use your windshield wipers to clear the egg off it smears causing you to have to pull over where you are then robbed.

Did this in any way stop us from going? Oh no. No threat of being egged was going to keep us from those darn Turkey Spode plates. We were packing. Not the I'm-a-girl-from-Texas-and-can-open-my-gun-safe-with-my-eyes-closed-in-three-seconds-or-less kind of packing. I mean we were packing an entire jug of egg wash.

The plan was if we got egged, my job was to lean out the window and pour our "egg wash" all over the windshield going 90km per hour down the freeway while the other girls held me by the ankles to keep me from becoming roadkill. And don't think I wouldn't have done it.

Mom......MOM!! Put your head between your knees and just breathe in and and out.

When we arrived it was truly nothing more than a ton of folding tables set up under a corrugated tin roof. I get overwhelmed shopping for things like plates in nicely lit stores with air conditioning and songs by Air Supply softly playing overhead. This place was like nothing I had ever seen before. Plates, bowls, platters stacked everywhere....inside and out. It was filthy dirty and I came eye to eye with more than one creepy crawly that day.

Lisa and Tiffany were off and running grabbing stacks of plates...excitedly calling out to each other....squealing for joy when they saw that there were dozens and dozens of Spode Turkey plates to choose from. It was fun watching them while Vanessa and I were a little more "deer in the headlights" about the whole thing. It was enough to send us two girls scurrying for the corner to chug down a jug of egg wash.

Just kidding.

Tiffany's stash.....which cost her about $150 total. Most plates were
about $1 a piece. It was crazy!

After much consideration, Vanessa decided to go ahead and get a stack of Spode Turkey plates. I stood my ground in defiance of buying plates for a holiday where I don't typically even make a turkey. I was proud of my strength of ability to say no to peer fiscal responsibility.

And then, it got ugly.

The taunting began. They pinpointed my weakness and went for blood. They were merciless and I was utterly defenseless against them.

They told me that one boys were going to marry girls and have grandbabies. And we all know who determines how much time the mother-in-law gets to spend with the grandbabies. The as yet undetermined wives of my boys. And why in the world would these sweet girls ever want to spend a Thanksgiving at my house with my grandbabies in tow if I didn't serve a turkey dinner? They wouldn't. BUT...if I not only served turkey dinner but had Spode Turkey plates to serve said dinner on then they would be more likely to visit because who's going to inherit those plates one day? That's daughter in laws.

I am now the proud owner of 15 Spode turkey plates.

The End.


  1. Oh my word. I'm so disappointed that the egg wash was all for naught. And how does one get 150 plates transported safely across the ocean??

    p.s. You're an amazing writer.

  2. Okay, Cella can marry one of your boys. They had been discounted as potential future husbands due to the lack of Spode turkey plates in your home, but you have redeemed yourself.



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