March 01, 2009


This past Friday, my husband lost his job.  He was the VP for Marketing and New Business Development for an oil and gas products company.  He was confident in the security of his job because he was in charge of developing new business, especially overseas.  Unfortunately, he worked for a man that has never been much of a visionary and tends to panic, so Scot's job became a "luxury the company couldn't afford."  I'm not sure how coming up with new business is a luxury, seems more like a necessity, but what do I know?  

The 24 hours following the revelation of our "new normal" were intense for both of us.  Scot felt peaceful and I felt like I was not going to be able to survive one more thing being thrown our way.  Scot began to pray that he would honor God above all else in this process and I was asking "Why us?".  Scot felt confident in our security and I started mourning the loss of a life I really enjoyed.  

I felt like life as we know it had been stripped away.  

There was nothing familiar about our tomorrow and I was scared to death.  I cried a river of tears and wondered why in the world, of all the years I chose to observe Lent and to give up sweets, I chose this one.  I didn't even have my go-to earthly comfort to rely on.  

Yesterday I spent a lot of time in God's word.  I wrote down scriptures, cried out to God, and began to feel His presence descend all over me.  

Trust ME.  Rely on ME.  Look for ME in these circumstances.  Let ME bear the
burden of your fear and anxiety.  Take comfort in ME.

I was reminded of the days when my boys were little and the phrase, "Look at my eyes" was uttered by me 13, 000 times a day.  It was like their ears didn't work correctly unless they were actually looking at me when I spoke to them.

Look at MY eyes, Keri.  Don't look around you.  Look at ME.  Listen only to ME.  
You will not fall.  I will not let you.

We told the boys yesterday morning that their dad no longer had a job.  They were concerned and had a lot of questions.  The conversation quickly turned to job options for Scot.  N suggested he consider becoming a Paleontologist and G thought he'd be great working at a museum since "he knows so much stuff".  Then they could have VIP passes.  Starbucks would also be an option because of their employee discount.

Then G, in all of his 10 year old wisdom, put his hand on his dad's knee, looked at him and said, "You do a really great job being my dad and NOONE can take that job away from you."

I am your heavenly Father.  I am in control and I do a really good
job taking care of you.  Let ME do my job.

We have no idea what is going to happen next.  I am thankful that I have options to work in a career that could support us.  I am thankful that we have been very sensitive to God speaking when we almost made some financial choices that could have been detrimental to us now.  I am thankful for the gift of supportive family and amazing friendships that will carry us through.  I am thankful to be married to a man that so quickly looked for God in this circumstance and chooses to honor Him through it.  

I do not think Scot is expendable.  He is valuable and could not be replaced in our family.

Today, Scot and I are feeling a sense of excitement.  We are anticipating what God is going to do next.  We have looked at the things that have been stripped away and realize that we can see God more clearly when they are gone.  

Having a relationship with ME means that life is going to be an adventure.
I am the tour guide.  You are not going to believe where I am going to 
take you and the blessings you will receive for going there with ME.

Please pray for us, that is what we covet the most.


  1. Oh Keri, I am so sorry. It seems that no one's job is truly "safe" during these times.

    As I was reading your post, I was thinking that I had these exact same thoughts when I was diagnosed in September. Why me? What are we going to do? It seemed like our entire life and future flashed before our very eyes. Nothing would ever be the same again. And darn it, I like our life just the way it is! It was like we were sailing pretty smoothly down a great path, and all of a sudden...detour! But God has taught me so much in the last 5 months. He has taught me to fully rely on Him. He has taken my relationship with Him to a whole new level. He has completely realigned our priorities. I could go on for days about the way we have seen His Mighty Hand at work. I can honestly say that breast cancer hasn't been a picnic, but I am almost thankful for it. I have thoroughly enjoyed reestablishing my relationship with our Heavenly Father, and if it took breast cancer to do it, so be it. It is SO worth it. There are so many verses I have put into my flip book that could apply to both our situations, and Proverbs 3:5-6 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Through every test and body scan, I would remember this verse, knowing that I cannot rely on worldly human understanding, I had to TRUST in HIM...fully. And another one that has meant so much to us as a family is Mark 5:36 "Don't be afraid...just believe." It is a verse that we have taught our kids because it's short and easy to remember (even our 5 year old Katie recites it all the time!) and it has kinda become our "motto."

    I will certainly keep your family in my prayers. Keep focused on the positive, there is always something. And keep repeating to yourself, "God is in control, God is in control..." Blessings to your family.

  2. Oh sweet friend I am so sorry. I just told Lisa. You made me cry with G's comment. Im praying .... it will all work out!!!

  3. Wow, Keri. I'm so sorry to hear this. Having just been through this, I know the panic that can ensue. And where God wants us is on our knees. Chris and I are proof that God only takes things from us when he has something better waiting, and I know it will be the same for you and Scot. How lucky Scot is to have such an amazing, encouraging wife by his side to go through this journey. Committing to pray for you daily... xxoo

  4. Your words are what God has spoken into my heart over & over again. Beth Moore's scripture choice could not fit more perfectly -Hebrews 10:35-36. I will pray for you guys daily. What a testament to your parenting when G makes comments like that! I, too, am excited to see where God takes you! Praise Him for godly husbands! They are a blessing! Praying for you my sweet friend.Praying for you.

  5. Keri, what a surprise to read this today! Your family is in my prayers! It reminded me of the scripture that has been my comfort in the financial stress we have been in, Matthew 6:25-34 where Jesus addresses worry. The biggest comfort to me has been that He knows exactly what we need. In giving Him my worry and accepting His peace, God has amazed me everyday how He provides for every need whether physical, emotional, or spiritual. Look at this time as a time to grow closer to Him and for your faith to grow in leaps and bounds! We love you and we are praying for you!

  6. Keri, as I sit here crying, I don't know what to say to you. This post was sad but amazing beauty shines through it. What a wonderful family you have. I am deeply touched by your collective reaction to this job loss.

    Thank you for sharing your true feelings with us, and for showing us how God wooed you from despair to trust in Him. I absolutely love that you are feeling excitement. I read that and thought as my heart filled with joy, "Surely this must be pleasing to God."

    Great things happen when we believe from deep within our hearts as though we already see. I think your excitement is evidence of that kind of belief. I look forward to hearing how God moves through your life in this time.

    Always remember, He can see the other side of this. He knows how it will turn out, even though you don't. My love and prayers are with you.

  7. Keri, I am so incredibly sorry to hear of this. Unfortunately, not a week goes by that I don't hear of this happening to people I love. When I lost my job in January, I was so sad of what I was losing. But I have felt the same presence that you & your husband have felt this past weekend. No matter what, GOD is in control f our lives and He has a reason for this happening. It is really exciting to know that his plan is so deep. I am excited for both of you to see what that plan is for your family. I will be praying for you all.

  8. I also am so very sorry! I will pray for you and believe that God is going to make Himself so evident in your lives and be able to use this to help so many others.

  9. Already prayed for you guys Keri ... and will continue to do so!

  10. Hope you guys are having a good week. Praying the Lord is showing Himself faithful in your daily life.Praying for you.



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