I recently had lunch with a wonderful new friend of mine, Crista. She is one of those people that has made it her mission in life to absolutely spoil me with her words of encouragement. We were talking about this past year and the endless months she spent on bedrest with her 4th child and how she felt like "God had benched her".
That is the perfect description for how I feel about our upcoming move. I am asked all the time how I feel about it and I find it difficult to articulate. Sometimes I'm excited, sometimes I'm sad, and sometimes I feel like I'm being taken out of the game.
Benched.
Why do I feel this way? Because I have been so honored to be a part of an incredible ministry that is growing at our church. Because I feel like, for once in my life, I have been obedient to a calling in my life no matter how scared I am. Because I started dreaming about all the possibilities here, and we are leaving.
The funny thing is, I started to realize that there are so many reasons for a player to be benched and as I started down a very familiar road of self-pity, God very quickly started to remind me.
Maybe I'm benching you so an injury, you don't even know you have, can heal.
Maybe I'm benching you because you need to rest.
Maybe I'm benching you because you need a little more training before I put you back in.
Maybe I'm benching you because you need some one-on-one time with your Coach.
Maybe I'm benching you because the game became more about you instead of the team.
What is beautiful is that I don't have to know why. I just have to trust that my Coach knows me, my abilities, and my weak points better than I do. I trust that He cradles my life in His hands and moves me according to His purpose.
Being benched does not mean I am going to go into the locker room and change out of my game clothes. I will continue to sit on the bench, cheering for my team, ready to jump back in when the Coach calls my name.
God, my prayer is that this time is not wasted. My prayer is that Your will for my life be revealed in me. My prayer is that I am always willing to go where You want me to go. My prayer is that You will use me.
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Were you reading my mail today? I think so. Thanks:)
ReplyDeleteYou are such an awesome vessel, Keri. Your training session is going to be a treat for you and for Jesus. You are wise to stay suited up. Never know when you're gonna be drafted to play for the pros during your senior year! Ok. Enough with the sports metaphors. Sorry. I couldn't resist. I love you, and I love how your brain works with your heart and the HolySpirit. You challenge me greatly!
ReplyDeleteI've thought a lot about this post, past my initial "WOW, another great post from Keri.." and God keeps reminding me that He will not let our gifts go to waste. I think sometimes we learn more about the strategy of the game from the sidelines, so being benched can be a huge learning opportunity. I know that everything you learn, while either being right there in the midst of it or observing from the sideline, will be used. God promises us that. Your ministry has already made such a difference to many, and I know it will continue.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear about your trip and your new home! :-) xoxox