Mom

Dear Mom,

For many reasons I have been thinking a lot lately about what being a "good mom" really means.  Does it mean sacrificing your own needs to devote yourself solely to raising your kids, or does it mean trying to live a life that is your own so you don't lose yourself in the process of mothering?  I have found, in the last 10 years I've been a mom myself, that women have very strong opinions about what a "good mom" is.  Most moms I know give birth to guilt the same moment they give birth to a child.  They struggle with trying to meet some kind of unachievable standard and often fall victim to the same expectations for their kids.  I think back to all the years I spend under your roof and you, mom, are a good mom.

As your firstborn child, I count it an honor to have introduced you to motherhood.  Nothing like being stretched to your limit in every way with the first child.  I am grateful to you for giving me siblings.......not one person close to you would have been surprised if you had never wanted to have another child after I came stubbornly, loudly, and strong willed into this world!  You pressed on, having 5 kids in 10 years, so I applaud your courage and stamina........my brothers and sisters are one of the greatest gifts you've ever given me.

Thank you for standing toe to toe with me and not letting me win every argument even though it would have been so much easier to give in to me!  Thank you for cooking dinner for our family night after night because it mattered to you that we ate together as a family.  Thank you for poking me in the lower back with that long fingernail of yours to teach me to sit up straight at the table.  Thank you for teaching me and then delegating to me the tedious job of ironing dad's handkerchiefs and dress shirts.  It is now my "I walked uphill to school in 3 inches of snow" story for me to tell my boys when they are getting a little too comfortable around here.  

Thank you for instilling in me, very early on, that a relationship with God is just that......a relationship.  It is not legalistic, it is not one sided.  Thank you for telling me over and over that you prayed for my future spouse since I was a little girl.  I have often looked at Scot in our more difficult times and knew that there was a lot more invested in him than the years in our marriage.  You had prayed him through his entire life until he met me.  Thank you for telling me that if I ever thought I wanted to leave Scot and go back home, you would turn me around and send me right back.  I learned so much about communication and resolution because of that.   Thank you for kissing dad in the kitchen.  It made a little girl feel very secure.  

Thank you for modeling for me the characteristics of being a giver.  Your love for your Compassion kids and heart for missions inspires me.  Your love of photography motivates me to search myself for my own passions in life.  Thank you for taking all of us on many Thanksgiving Days to serve dinner in missions.  We all benefitted from experiencing a world much different than our own.

Thank you for partnering so well with Dad to raise 5 very independent kids........a great trait, but hard for the mom that often feels left behind.  Thank you for showing all of us that it's ok to cry during commercials and movies.  Thank you for giving us some of the best material EVER for the most hysterical stories we tell during our very long family dinners that happen only once a year.  

Thank you, mom, for loving me completely even though we are so different.  Thank you for telling me so often that being involved in my life is important to you.  Thank you for being my biggest fan!

Happy Mother's Day!!  I love you