Going Home

* Update - I got home early this morning from a wonderful trip to California.  My Grandpa Hal perked up and we talked a lot about his life, our lives.....we laughed and he told stories.  I met his son that I've never had contact with before, so now I have a new relationship with Uncle Jim.  I spent time with my parents, my brothers and their families - the trip could not have been more incredible.  I will treasure every moment for years to come.  My Grandpa went Home at 12:40 this morning.

Tomorrow I'm getting on a plane to California with my sister to see my Grandpa Hal.  He was just placed in Hospice with end stage COPD and the family is making a mad dash to see him before he heads Home.  

It's interesting, the rush to see a loved one, when news has spread that their time is near.  Why do we rush to spend time when years have gone by with many missed opportunities to spend time together, to make memories.  I must admit that I'd rather people rush to see me when I'm healthy and happy.

My Grandpa Hal has always been a distant part of my life.  He and my Grandmother divorced when my mom was very young.  His involvement in her life was minimal after that, something she deals with to this day.  My Grandmother remarried and that man was who I referred to as my Grandpa.  I knew who Grandpa Hal was and would get cards from him and Jan, his wife, at Christmas or on my birthday.  When my Grandpa died, Grandpa Hal very respectively stepped up to the plate.  Something I'm sure he wished he had done all those years ago when he saw a very young 5 year old girl crying in his rearview mirror.

I'm sad because he is a man I've seen make a lot of effort to regain a family.  I'm sad because I know he has regrets.  I'm sad because as a teenager and young adult I did not fully appreciate the value of family and what that means.  It means that we will make mistakes, disappoint others, hurt people we love, but at the end of the day, it means forgiveness and love.  

That is why I'm rushing to see him, because he is my Grandpa Hal and there is still time to love and make memories.  And I love him.

This was Spring Break a couple of years ago and I'm so happy to have these photos.  Grandpa Hal was so excited to meet my boys.  I remember how he blushed when I went on and on about how cool he looked in his Doc Martins.  I remember the effort and the camera he carried at all times to capture every moment.

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