But I have to say that I had a conversation with a 14 1/2 year old last night that got me thinking. You have to understand that the last couple of years as puberty raged in this boy, my husband and I would hardly be acknowledged by him when we entered his home. It was a "Hi Miss Keri and Mr Scot".....head hanging down with a newly acquired deep voice. No more bouncy little boy that liked having Mr Scot pull Smarties out of his ear or could talk for 4 hours about his latest adventures. Puberty.....UGH!! I'm dreading it, can you tell??
I digress, for some reason, last night he was somewhat back to his old self
except he shaves
and text messages girls
and is taller than me *****sidenote here - I'm thinking I may need therapy in a couple of years when this starts happening at my house!
He had just gotten back from a trip with his church youth group. After warming him up all evening by talking to him about starting high school and football, football, and more football, I went in for the kill. I was stirring the caramel sauce to go over the bread pudding for dessert and he was sitting on the counter chatting with me.
Me: "Do you find that it's hard to live your life at school like you do when you're at church?"
K: "Yeah, my buddy and I were just talking about that."
Me: "How does it make you feel?"
K: pause......"Disappointed in myself."
Bam!! There you have it folks.....more maturity packed into that sweet boy than many people my age have.
A total recognition that living 2 different lives - no matter what they might be - can leave you feeling disappointed. That doing Bible studies during the week and getting plastered on the weekend or strutting around in designer labels and crying over bills at night can leave you feeling like you aren't living ANY life very well.
There is a reason God highly recommends that we lead a life that puts our beliefs into action. Not to make life miserable for us, quite the opposite.
So we can live a life where we are not disappointed in who or what we are.
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You are brave to take this on, but I understand why you feel compelled. I applaude you for putting it out there and letting everyone have a look. You know I love you whatever you have to say.
ReplyDeleteKeri,
ReplyDeleteHow cool that you can see a bit into your future with YOUR boys through this kid (as scary as it may be!) You are doing a wonderful job parenting those awesome boys and I know you will continue to, learning as you go. Isn't that how it is for all of us?!
Love U!
You know I was just talking about this same thing this morning. I took my friend Val to girls house that sells things (Beth?). Val was shopping for a purse. When her really buff, athletic 12 year old came in the room and started talking to her.
ReplyDeleteSo I struck up a conversation with him and asked him what kind of sports he is into (Lacrose) Spelling? I told him about my 7 year old that is into hockey and how I never really understood Lacrose, and he began to tell me the similarities to football, hockey and soccer it. Just having the conversation and watching him talk to his mom, I paused and said that is me in just a short 5 years.
Its exciting, its scary, its sad, its wonderful and beautiful and so mysterious. I love it and fear it all at once.
xoxo