The Real World

You have NO idea how it feels to be on the receiving end of your anger!!

These were the words Nathan yelled at me Friday morning after a frustrating start to our day. Let me just clarify that by "anger" he did not mean that I was beating him or even yelling at him. Talking to him in a frustrated tone of voice? Definitely. It didn't matter.......he was still distraught (translation: exhausted) and would not settle down. He did get on the bus, but his shoulders were slumped forward and he was shuffling his feet with not even a wave as the bus pulled out of the driveway. I went on a preemptive strike by emailing his teacher to give her a head's up in case my anger was brought up and suddenly we have the nurse looking for inexplicable bruises. Nathan came home happy, with our morning forgotten, and all was right in 9 year old world once again.

What does this have to do with life in Singapore?

Despite the fun and adventures and new experiences, we are still smack dab in the middle of real life. Real life means we have days where every Jenkins family member is in a bad mood. It means we still have to hand out consequences, have difficult conversations, pay bills, figure out what's for dinner, and laundry. Loads and loads of laundry.

I am very aware that these next few years are going to offer some experiences we would otherwise never have had. I am also very sensitive to the fact that if those adventures are all I ever talk about, it can get obnoxious very quickly. We are blessed and thankful for our time here, but we are still immersed in real life every single day and real life can be tough sometimes.

I thought I was going along with the parenting thing pretty much figured out. A few bumps here and there, but overall I thought I was doing a relatively stellar job. Then a few weeks ago Garrett made the comment to me:

You know how you always talk so nice to people in stores and restaurants? You use that nice voice? I wish you talked to me like that.

Ouch.

Nothing like being slapped upside the head with the hand of reality. That comment coupled with Nathan's somewhat irrational comment has really made me think. Do I put forth more effort in being kind and gentle with strangers than I do with my own children?

I am the one person in this world they should be able to count on for a kind word when everything around them is ugly. I should be the one person that they can trust for a word of advice without the sting of criticism. Trust comes from not having to wonder what kind of mom is going to greet you every morning.

I sat down with Garrett and apologized to him. Apologized for the times that real life has taken away from what he deserves out of me. He deserves a mom that is consistent and loving.

A mom that parents him out of anticipation of his success and not expectation of his failures.

I continue to be in awe of life around me and every single day I encounter something that is new and different, but my real life is home with my family. People that deserve the very best I can give them no matter where I am or what's going on around me. A mom that is present and attentive and has enough self-control to not let her parenting be ruled and swayed by her emotions.

Real life continues in the midst of our adventure. Some days I rock at real life and others I fail miserably. The important thing is that I learn from my mistakes and pick myself up determined to do better. Now, if only I could figure out a way to not have to deal with the laundry, life would be just about perfect!