disappointed

I promise that I'm a fun person.  That I don't sit around analyzing things all day.  I want this to be a place I can share the funny and serious........and be super random.  

But I have to say that I had a conversation with a 14 1/2 year old last night that got me thinking.  You have to understand that the last couple of years as puberty raged in this boy, my husband and I would hardly be acknowledged by him when we entered his home.  It was a "Hi Miss Keri and Mr Scot".....head hanging down with a newly acquired deep voice.  No more bouncy little boy that liked having Mr Scot pull Smarties out of his ear or could talk for 4 hours about his latest adventures.  Puberty.....UGH!!  I'm dreading it, can you tell??

I digress, for some reason, last night he was somewhat back to his old self

       except he shaves

       and text messages girls

       and is taller than me *****sidenote here - I'm thinking I may need therapy in a couple of        years when this starts happening at my house!

He had just gotten back from a trip with his church youth group.  After warming him up all evening by talking to him about starting high school and football, football, and more football, I went in for the kill.  I was stirring the caramel sauce to go over the bread pudding for dessert and he was sitting on the counter chatting with me.

Me:  "Do you find that it's hard to live your life at school like you do when you're at church?"

K:  "Yeah, my buddy and I were just talking about that."

Me:  "How does it make you feel?"

K:  pause......"Disappointed in myself."

Bam!!  There you have it folks.....more maturity packed into that sweet boy than many people my age have.  

A total recognition that living 2 different lives - no matter what they might be - can leave you feeling disappointed.  That doing Bible studies during the week and getting plastered on the weekend or strutting around in designer labels and crying over bills at night can leave you feeling like you aren't living ANY life very well.

There is a reason God highly recommends that we lead a life that puts our beliefs into action.  Not to make life miserable for us, quite the opposite.  

So we can live a life where we are not disappointed in who or what we are.

bits and pieces

I find myself having this need to recap bits and pieces of my life experience on this blog.  That's a lot of years of some pretty and some ugly experiences.  I wonder why I feel that way?  Why the Blog phenomenon has been so big?

Is it the need to be heard?  Is it the need to reach out to other people?  Is it the draw of writing something, that may or may not even be true, and sending it out to cyberspace to be accepted or rejected by strangers?

For me, wanting to share is a way to have a heart to heart with people I love, but don't get to see on a regular basis.  I can't worry about the strangers, because all they'll see is a girl trying to be transparent and honest about her life in a world where pretenses and false image reign. 

I was rocked to the core by the recent entry on a blog that I love.......the entry is called Blink.  It made me want to step back and absorb every moment I have.  Both pretty and ugly.  Because ultimately all those images will put together in a life album that is beautiful.....because it's my life.  And I want to share.

Because I am computer challenged and don't know how to link a website to a word in the blog, you can go to my favorite blog lists and click on Bring The Rain to read the entry Blink.

Blogging

Blogging.......one of many new verbs in the English language since the dawn of the computer savvy age.  I've enjoyed reading several blogs over the years and through them have journeyed with many I've never met face to face.

I realized that "doing life" is about more than walking hand in hand with someone through experiences.  It is about connecting in a spiritual and emotional way.  It is about making people you love a priority.  It is about remembering Who you do life for.

Maybe this is my small attempt at doing life with those I love, but don't get to share face time with.