August 17, 2009

Be Still

In four days G starts school and then on Monday, N joins him. A new start - almost like New Year's Day in many ways. Lots of promises are made for renewed discipline, culinary achievements, and organization. Unfortunately, these most often go by the wayside by September when I am talking loudly to the kids (yelling), driving through somewhere for dinner, and have papers scattered all over my kitchen.

The one thing that is different this year is that I am learning to Be Still. This is not easy for me as I think I have had an overloaded schedule since I was 12. I like to be busy, active, involved, and social so I end up being overwhelmed many times. My head, my life, all start to feel like this:

An enormous mess where I can't find anything I am looking for and just give up trying. Humility at its very best!! There was nothing in me that really wanted to post that picture except that it best describes how I feel inside most of the time.

Until God met me in Florida this summer. He knew it would take a week for me to calm down enough to pay attention to the lesson He was trying to teach me. Week two was all about quiet communion between my God, whom I love with my whole being, and me. Week three was about confirming all I had been learning. The big lesson??

"Be Still and know that I am God" was not written in the Bible just to take up space. It is a command. He is telling us to Be Still. Not just for a minute, or five minutes because how well can you really know someone in that short of time? Five minutes of being still would be like speed dating and I just don't see God being cool with that.

We tell our boys all the time to Be Still. Often it's when we are trying to get a point across and need them to pay attention. They are so distracted by everything else going on that even if they are still physically and listening, I can tell by looking in their eyes that they aren't really hearing me because they aren't still on the inside.

For me, it means cleaning out some of what makes my mind so noisy. Just like that playroom, it's getting rid of what isn't needed and finding a proper place for what is. None of it is bad and all of it serves a good purpose, but we just don't need all of it.

There were several weeks in there that God had been sweetly telling me to resign my volunteer position at Living Proof. Boy howdy, I did NOT want to do that, but He was persistent and I was obedient.

Budget cuts required the church to cancel our C3 event for the Fall, so God took care of that without me being involved at all. I guess He figured my involvement just made it that much more complicated and time consuming!

With Scot's new job I have given my days at the hospital back to the other speech therapist that had so kindly let me take over when we were unemployed.

There is more and I fully realize that everyone's journey with this is different. For me, it was about not doing so much for everyone else that my family suffered. Let me tell feels really good. There was nothing wrong with what I was doing, it was all very purposeful and for a good cause, but there were many times I lost who God was because I couldn't hear or see Him in all the craziness.

Be Still. Sit with Him. Talk to Him. Spend time with Him.

Then you will know HE is God.

In a perfect post, I would have an incredible, Pottery Barn type picture to post as an "After" to the one I posted above. Honestly, I'm still in the midst of cleaning up so I can't tie all this up in a nice neat bow. Oh yeah, that's another thing I'm letting go of........feeling like I have to have it all figured out in order to talk about it.

There can be something powerful about allowing others a peek into the journey.


  1. Well I can help you stay away from the drive through part :) And with a fundraiser like we briefly talked about during baseball last year. Looking forward to seeing you for ball this fall! love ya!

  2. Great post. A good lesson for us all:)

  3. A great post and whether adorned with a bow or not, a great message to us all. I needed to hear this today. I have been so consumed with "What am I going to do with my days with all my babies going to school???" that I haven't stopped to think about what GOD wants me to do. MY plans included going for beautiful outside runs whenever I pleased, having lunch with girlfriends, grocery shopping at MY pace, and maybe a manicure every now and then. But maybe I need to Be Still for a little while and figure out what GOD wants me to do with my newly-quiet days. I have never NOT had little ones in the house so this will be quite the adjustment for me. One that I am looking to God to help me with, and guide me through these unchartered waters. Being Still sounds like a great place to start. Thanks, friend.

    I wish we lived closer so YOU could be that friend I could meet for lunch sometime! We NEED a visit! Maybe someplace in the middle someday?! What's halfway inbetween Van Buren, MO and Houston, TX...I'll have to figure that one out! Thank you for your friendship, sister.

  4. What a great post and lesson to us all. With the crazy, hectic pace that are lives are, it is hard to be still and listen.


  5. You are such a tease!! WHO is it ?!?! I love this post too, thanks for the reminder!!!

  6. I love the journey... Wouldn't it be kind of boring if we just woke up one morning and -- wah-lah -- knew how to be still (or all those other things we lack). God is faithful to take us down the road of progress, so we learn about ourselves along the way but also learn about Him.

    By the way, I think God speaks more clearly in Florida -- we should spend much more time there! :-)



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