Our Story

I have started and deleted this post about three times.

Frankly, I'm too tired to come up with some incredibly creative narrative about Christmas so I'm just going to share what's on my heart.

I don't get to go back home to the states to spend Christmas with my family this year.  To say that I've had a bad attitude about that would be a gross understatement....and I don't use the word "gross" lightly because it's been super gross inside my head lately.  

As you may know, my family is headed to Cambodia to spend time at an orphanage and a center for boys who have been rescued from sex trafficking or are at risk for being sold into sex trade.

Has there been any temptation to pat ourselves on the back for our super act of giving and service?  I would be lying if I said there wasn't.  Pride is a nasty, nasty thing.  But I also know that it's going to be hard in every single way and I was beginning to wonder what we were thinking by going.

It was the day, or three, where I pulled the covers over my head and slept until an obnoxious hour and then proceeded to eat myself into a sugar high before lunch.  That was the day that I realized that I was acting like a spoiled, entitled child.

Not to be spiritually dramatic, but I literally got on my knees on my bathroom rug and begged God to change my attitude.  That was about it because I just didn't want to talk to Him about anything else.  I just knew I desperately needed an attitude adjustment.  

I wasn't instantly filled with a warm feeling of Christmas Joy, but I was aware that if I missed out on Christmas this year it was not going to be anyone else's fault except mine.  Time to put on the big girl panties.

We decided to take advantage of some of what Singapore has to offer this time of year: 

An open top bus ride with friends to see Christmas lights.

Don't let the look on Nathan's face fool you....he spent

the whole night yelling "Merry Christmas" to all the

startled Singaporeans along the roads.

The lights along Orchard Rd. are beautiful and I love

that the department store posts a Bible verse front and center

on their building.

Nathan and I stumbled upon this group while doing

some shopping.  I have no idea what the sign says

but I have a pretty good idea of the story they were

telling.

Some slight overcrowding in the mall.

Baking cookies with good friends.....while the sweet

girl reminds Nathan of what he's missing by not

having a little sister.  Yes, she's punching at his

legs with her punching gloves on.

Love all of this, but I only had eyes for the buttercream

frosting....in FOUR different colors.  Be still my heart.

None of the cookies I decorated are on the plate.  That's all I have

to say about that.

The boys wrapping presents for their dad....in Dora the

Explorer paper.  They thought it was super funny and 

I was wondering at what point I thought I needed a whole

roll of Dora.

I then got this message from my friend Marla Taviano that we are meeting up with in Cambodia.  Any feelings of pity for myself went flying right out the window.  Who exactly do I think I am?  I read this and then handed my phone to Nathan so he could read it and we looked at each other with tears in our eyes and vowed to buy every magnetic toy on the island.....except they've all be recalled.  No worries...we found some super cool stuff so if even for a moment, Panha can have a childhood again.

Do you have a couple "toys" your boys are tired of that you could bring for our friend Panha (Pawn-yuh). He's 18 and our translator, and I don't have time to share his story (Gabe needs the computer) but he never got to play with toys when he was younger and told me he will sometimes go upstairs at the boys' center when no one is there and play with the toys. His favorite is these little balls and bendy things that are magnetic. Gotta go. Talk soon!

I don't get to go home for Christmas this year but I do get to go meet some amazing people doing some incredible things in the lives of children and I get to play Santa to many of them.  I am very, very blessed.

I stole this picture from Marla's blog.....I absolutely MUST meet 

this child.  That is absolute pure joy.

I know this post has been all over the place.  I wish I could have wrapped up all these thoughts in a nice neat package, but it just wasn't going to happen.  I needed to dust off the 'ol blog because I'm going to need somewhere to share our experiences in the next week and if I don't, my mom is going to ground me.  I'm totally serious....she would.

We have been very open with the boys about what they are going to see and experience including a conversation about sex trafficking.  I am going to be doing a lot of watching and listening to all three of my men as they experience this next week.  I have no doubt this trip is going to impact us all greatly.  Please pray for us and the Tavianos....an amazing family from Ohio we are literally meeting in person for the first time when we land in Cambodia tomorrow.  I will share more of their story another time....they deserve a post all of their own.  I am humbled to be serving alongside them.

One last thought.  A couple of nights ago I was talking to the boys about how our experiences in life when viewed in isolation can seem random and confusing.  We talked about when Scot lost his job and how scary that was except that we had faith.  Faith in a God that knew that had to happen to bring us to this exact point in our family's story.  

We talked about how a boy, a virgin girl, an overcrowded inn and a manger are so random and confusing but it had to happen so one day we'd be celebrating the birth of a Savior. 

Wherever you are this Christmas.....know you are not lost to Him.  Keep living your story.

When good is really, really Good

We walked in and there were between 25 and 30 Filipino ladies.  Most were sitting on the floor because seating was sparse.  They were working on new sewing skills they had just been taught and were taking great pride in their work.

10 of us stood in the middle of the room where the clash in cultures and economic status was palpable.  There is an awkwardness that comes where two groups of women measure each other up wondering how they are going to relate.

I plopped myself down in the middle of a group of women and asked them to show me what they were working on.  I asked for a pair of scissors and offered to help.  They timidly showed me how to cut paper patterns they would later sew fabric onto to form a sort of patchwork.  I got to work thankful for something to do with my hands and my eyes to help make the moment more comfortable for all of us.

As I worked, the ladies started to warm up and quietly began asking me questions.

Ma'am?  May I ask you a question?  Are you married?  Do you have children?  

I answered and asked the same in return.  I had learned quickly during previous visits that their presence in a rescue home for women did not mean they were without family.  Many have children in their native country and many have not seen their children in years.  They have pictures and phone calls and they are excited to tell you all about their babies.

Because that's what they are no matter how old they get.  They are our babies.

I listened and laughed as their wit and humor crept out from behind shy demeanors.  Those not as skilled in English would falter and others would help to translate.

I looked around at my friends who were with me and saw that I was not the only one breaking down some barriers.  Laughter and conversation rang out in that tiny room where over 30 woman would roll out mattresses to sleep on a barren floor at night.  We told them we had brought them new underwear and they giggled.  Many had not put on new underwear in a very long time.

As time passed and conversation flowed, we found out that these women very much liked to sing.  I asked them to sing for us and after much conversation and some debate, they settled on a song.

Diyos ay mabuti

Several began to sing and as conversation ceased around the room so all could join in the song, music poured out in a language I didn't understand.

Diyos ay mabuti

There was joy on their faces in spite of incredible adversity and the music they made was beautiful.  When they finished we applauded and quickly asked what they were singing.

God is good!

I fought hard to control the emotion that was bubbling to the surface as I looked into the faces of women whose lives are nothing like my own.  Women who are currently living behind locked gates for their own protection.  Women who knew that no matter the circumstances, God is good.

With our encouragement they quickly handed out Filipino song books and picked out songs in English that we could sing with them.  There was lots of smiling and complete joy as the music rang out in the room.  We even sang Joy to the World and there was Joy.

Our time too quickly came to an end and we stood and held hands in a circle with these ladies and we prayed.  We prayed to a God that loves each one of us.  A God that knows each circumstance.  A God that sees no racial or economic boundaries.

I went around the room grabbing and hugging as many of the ladies as I could.  They were completely fascinated with how tall I am so there were many giggles when the hugs were awkward.  I wrapped my arms around them all and told them that they were loved.

There was a silence among the ten of us as we walked to our cars.  How humbling it is to be reminded that God is good by a group of women who are living lives we would characterize as anything but.  To see that circumstances did not dictate how they felt about their Creator.  That in place of anticipated sorrow, I saw hope and I saw joy.

Diyos ay mabuti

Days Like These

A few weeks ago I was looking through this blog for one particular post.  I got sucked into reading posts from 3 years ago and just had to laugh.  Oh my, how life has changed!!  We just don't ever know what is in store for any of us, do we?  It definitely reminded me that since I failed at scrapbooking and have thousands of photos that are largely unorganized, I better get busy and start writing some stuff down.  

Football season here is almost over and I haven't posted one thing about it!  These memories are important because one day Nathan is not going to remember what he looked like when he was shorter than 6 feet tall and I need this stuff to remind him!

Football here is MUCH different than it is in Texas.  

First of all, not one single mom shows up to a game with a blinged out shirt bearing the team name.  In fact, there are no team shirts of any kind.  I know, I know......the horrors of it all!

The 5th and 6th graders play in the same league and are divided into three teams.  The three teams are the Rams, Gators, and Longhorns.  Scot and I were crossing our fingers that he wasn't chosen for the Longhorns because I honestly think he would have dropped out of football before wearing horns every weekend.  Heaven help me, that child has been thoroughly brainwashed.

They spent the whole season playing each other because there are NO other football teams to play in Singapore.  Every weekend each team plays two games that are only 2 quarters each.  That means every weekend all three teams play each other.  It makes life interesting when you tackle someone on Saturday and sit across from them in Math on Monday.

A couple of weeks ago they had their games on a Friday night and not being one to miss an opportunity for alone time with my favorite 10 year old, I coerced him into spending time with me Saturday morning by promising to feed him.  It is hands down both Garrett and Nathan's love language right now.

I walked and he took his Razor to the mall that has my favorite grocery store in it.  I still find it so weird that the majority of grocery stores in Singapore are located in malls.  I guess if you don't have a Wal Mart to pick up a new outfit, a piece of luggage and some milk then you need to put your grocery store in a mall.

We decided to check out a new restaurant that just opened.  Then I pulled out my phone to take pictures of some killer bruises he's gotten playing football.  Just because we love stuff like that around here.

Then I took this next picture just for fun and my heart melted.  My sweet boy......I found myself praying that those freckles never fade and wondering how in the world time has gone by as quickly as it has.

I was clearly on a roll so we took a few more and laughed and how I have to stick all my fingers in the air in order to take a picture.  I tried to take one with my hand looking more normal.....it isn't possible.

Have I ever told you that I snap backwards?  It's weird, I know, but I snap by having my middle finger going in front of my thumb instead of behind.  You're trying it right now, aren't you?  Apparently I not only snap backwards, I take pictures with my phone looking like I am some sort of finger contortionist.

While I'm entertaining myself by how odd I am, this is Nathan and his "seriously, mom?" face.  

I see it a lot.  

And then the earth shifted on its axis......I was actually offered a bite of his chocolate ice cream.

After he was sufficiently full, I drug him to the store.  This is Nathan perusing my grocery list so as to come up with a formula to ensure the most efficient path in obtaining all items.  I do love this kid.

Something I quickly learned after being in Singapore.....do not pass up the weigh station when buying produce for fear of the wrath of a 90 pound checkout lady when there's no bar code on your bananas.

Halloween candy is in stock!!!  We learned from last year that if you don't buy it early you are out of luck!  Laffy Taffy and Reeses pieces....into the cart.

It is not unusual to see kids with their scooters and razors in the grocery store.  The problem is getting your kid to resist the temptation to ride through the frozen food section inevitably crashing into someone who doesn't think his freckles are as cute as I do.

This was the day that my small cart of groceries came out to be over $300 and my debit card was denied.  That's always a good time!!  Lines of people everywhere and I'm fishing out my Amex mumbling something about needing to transfer money into the account.  You know, just in case the guy behind me actually cared.  Which he didn't.  

This was also the day that it was raining when we left and Nathan totally bit it going down the ramp to the taxi stand.  I didn't take a picture of that.  I do have boundaries.....kinda.

So as not to leave Garrett out of this post, here he is doing one of his favorite things.  Playing guitar during youth group.  The fact that I was allowed in the youth room during church to take his picture is pretty amazing.  

It's the part where I started screaming and shouting his name that I had to be escorted out of the room.

In less than 2 months, I will be a mother of a teenager.  

A moment of silence please. 

I love days like these.

The Newcomer

What a difference a year makes.

Today I went to a Newcomers Luncheon offered by our church to anyone that is, well, a newcomer.  We had an incredible spread of food in a woman's home that feels like you are in a boutique hotel when you walk inside.  I got there early balancing my salad bowl, my phone, my purse and trying to kick off my cute shoes outside the door before going in.

Yes, I was wearing cute shoes and not my cushiony shoes which means I am nursing a pretty sore foot right about now. But it was totally worth it!!  Or would have been except we all left our shoes outside the door so no one knew those super cute shoes actually belonged to me.  And my mama taught me that it was just plain tacky to walk people to the front door just to show off your cute shoes.  Almost as bad as popping your gum.

Where was I?  Oh, right.  Salad bowl, phone, purse.

I walked in the door and greeted my friends that were all inside preparing for the women that were going to be arriving at any moment.  We talked in that easy kind of manner that comes with lots of time spent together.  A comment, a quick conversation, an easy compliment, the finishing of a story started days before.

As women started trickling in I would look into their faces and see myself just one year ago.  The day I walked into the same house having left my shoes at the front door, cursing myself for not having a fresh pedicure.  The day I stepped out of my comfort zone, which was my pajamas and my couch, and ventured out hoping to make a new friend and determined to remember the names of these women who seemed to have it all together.  The day I tried really hard to not look as desperate as I felt to belong.  To have some kind of purpose in this crazy country.

Today I walked up to different ladies new to Singapore and got to tell them that I understood how they were feeling.  How frustrating it can be to be overwhelmed by a grocery store.  I tried to tell them that they would be ok and could see on some of their faces that they weren't sure they would be.

It's those situations in life that separate you from everyone around you.  The move to a foreign country. The birth of a baby.  The death of a loved one.  A new relationship.  A divorce.  A lost job.  Sudden fortune.

Finding God or feeling like you're lost to Him completely.

The times that you want to find someone, anyone else, that can look you in the eyes and tell you that they understand because they have walked that same road.  Be it a good road or a difficult road, sometimes you just want to know you aren't the first one forging the way.

I currently have a verse hanging on the mirror in the boy's bathroom that I am bribing, I mean, encouraging them to memorize.  I was having Garrett tell me part of it today and it just hit me.  Right between the eyes, it hit me.

He comes alongside us when we go through hard times, and before you know it,

He bring us alongside someone else who is going through hard times so that we 

can be there for that person just as God was there for us.  2 Cor 1:4

What a difference a year makes.

Show and Tell

I honestly just erased an extremely long post that droned on and on about life stuff......and I got seriously bored with myself. My problem is that this blog has ruined me. I find myself writing blog posts in my mind all the time so I end up getting myself into a rut.

Not knowing where to start when I want to write about:

Garrett and how much happier he is this year. His amazing teachers including the one that was on House Hunters International. How he dropped football for soccer which here means he dropped football to take up football. Confusing, right? And he tells me that he loves me every morning before he leaves for school. I am so happy to have my boy back!

My new job as Bible study coordinator at our church and the very large shoes I have to fill. Metaphorically speaking, of course. Lynda and Sondra, if you happen to be reading this, I honestly think you have very cute feet and darling shoes. I'm just a tad bit intimidated to be following in your footsteps!

How I have self-diagnosed the pain in my heel as Plantar Fasciitis. Nice. That means no more flat as a board cute sandals for me. I have to wear shoes with cushion aka Ugly Shoes. Not to imply that if any of you wear cushiony sandals that they are all ugly. I think my issue is that they add another inch and I don't like that. Because clearly going from 5'11" to 6' makes a huge difference in a country where everyone is 5'4".

My impression after reading "The Battle Hymn of a Tiger Mother". I enjoyed the book more than I thought I would and it certainly made me think. There is probably a little "Tiger Mom" in all of us, it just may not manifest itself in demanding straight A's and incredible musical talent. It could be sports or looks or social standing or, dare I say, spirituality. I can't wait to talk about it with my "Whatever Floats Your Boat Book Club". And yes, that is actually the name of our book club. If you could see the list of books we're reading, you would totally understand why the name is so appropriate.

The list goes on and on but I'll spare you any more of my random commentary. Instead, I will leave you with a few of my favorite pics from our quick stop in Scotland and London on our way back to Singapore.

Garrett....

and Nathan at the ruins of St. Andrews cathedral.

$5 to the first person who can guess where we did a

bunch of shopping for the boys this summer!

Scot and Garrett watching a foursome tee off at St. Andrews golf

course. Scot was in HEAVEN walking around that place. We took

loads of pictures there. What I love about this is the group of guys to

the left. They were from New York and were so excited to be playing

on this course, the mecca for golfers, that they were high fiving each

other and taking video.....I was so happy for them.

Life with boys and all things remotely alluding to

bodily functions. Especially if etched in stone that

is hundreds of years old outside the astute institute of

St. Andrews. There's a good chance Kate and Wills have

stood under this sign. Wonder if they giggled?

Be still my heart. How has this happened so quickly?

Won't be long before Scot is the short one in this picture.

We took a great Beatles tour around Liverpool. This was by far

my favorite stop on the tour.

Wonder how many tourists were flattened by buses

before they decided to clearly mark which way to look?

One of my favorite nights in London. We got tickets at the last

minute to a play. The play has been showing in this theater for over

45 years. We were so horribly underdressed for a night at the

theater but it was fun all the same!

Then we went out for pie. Steak and mushroom pie that was AH-mazing.

As was the fish and chips we ate several times on our trip.

Buckingham Palace. Nobody was out kissing on the balcony

the day we were there. Bummer.

I had to laugh because we were in London just in time for the riots. That in itself isn't funny, but the fact that Nathan wore a black hoody and was convinced that someone was going to mistake him for a rioter was pretty funny to me. I'm not sure how many rioters had their moms, dads, and big brothers with them when they went out looting.

Just a quick note before I wrap things up. In preparing for this new year of Bible studies at our church, I have been extremely humbled by the enormity of a job that I feel so unequipped for. There is much I don't know and I was starting to stress about that when I realized that the less I know, the more He has to show.

I think that's my goal for this year in Singapore. I don't want there to be so much of me that He doesn't show.

In my conversation. In my actions. In my thoughts.

I pray this year is an epic Show and Tell kind of year.

Chicken Feet Dose of Reality

Hi! My name is Keri and I live in Singapore. Freakishly tall. Two boys and a cute husband. Does it ring a bell? It's been just about forever since I've written anything on this blog.

Actually, there are four posts I wrote and then abandoned this summer. The honest truth is that trying to put into words how it felt to be home was really, really difficult for me. It was wonderful, frustrating, emotional, comfortable, frantic, and unforgettable all rolled up together. Depending on the day, or even the time of day, I could be feeling any one of those emotions. Add in a healthy dose of insecurity that flared up often.....geesh! I'm not sure what my problem was.

If I can ever figure out how to adequately explain what it's like to drop in on your old life when your new life is about as foreign as it can get, then maybe I'll finish one of those posts I started.

Maybe.

We've been home for four days and those days have been filled with catching up with friends and trying to unpack the seven suitcases we brought back with us. And then there's the jet lag to contend with. Oy vey.

It has given me some time to reflect back on the last eight weeks. I didn't realize how few pictures I took of this summer. There are events I have no record of. Or, in one case, I took pictures of doors and scenery and totally omitted taking pictures of the people I was with.

I'm telling you......I was a mess!!

We spent the first part of the summer on the West coast visiting my family.

Where my dad got to hang with his three grandsons...

Where cousins wrestled.....

Where my parents enjoyed having all their grandchildren in one place.....

Where the newest cousin was cuddled....

and kissed....

(It kills me that this sweet little girl will be walking and probably talking

the next time I see her. Who in the world thought putting Singapore so

far away from California would be a good idea? Yes, I know the answer is

God, but I can still be a little annoyed about it!)

Where there was an epic wrestling match between my boys, my brother,

his son, and my dad.

Where I got to celebrate my other brother's birthday.....and meet

his new girlfriend that I absolutely adored. Even if she's about

5'3" and he's 6'8". Normally we'd hold that against her except we

just really like her.

I went back to Baylor to see friends I haven't seen in 20 years.

We took a trip to Dallas where I got to spend time with this amazing lady....

Where we picked blueberries after a day of zip lining with some good friends

that I have no pictures of.

Where we ate the amazing blueberries....

Where the boys learned how to drive a tractor....

Where we ate amazing peach cobbler......

Where we enjoyed the view so much we apparently failed to actually

take pictures of the people!

Where the boys got to mix it up with a real live Air Force Colonel.

There was the 11th annual Girl's Weekend with these friends minus two that

couldn't come.

Where the kids had fun catching up.....

Where these burgers were devoured!

We went to our favorite beach......

With a favorite friend and her family.

And there was still time for Mexican food and good conversation

with my sister (the gorgeous one on the far right) and these friends...

and these friends.

There were so many people I never got to see. Running into someone for a quick chat outside the doors of Target or in the hallway of church just doesn't do it for me. I'm a sit down and let's get to the nitty gritty of what life has been dishing up kind of girl. That part of all this is the hardest for me.

The dance between letting go and holding on. I need lessons because I'm awkward and gangly in handling it all.

I was reminiscing about the whole summer with Singapore friends here. It's funny that in our group there were those that couldn't wait to come back and others who came back kicking and screaming. For the first couple of days I felt like I was here physically but still in the states mentally.

And then I went grocery shopping today.....

Yep....I'm back in Singapore.

Honestly? I am happy to be here. That is a very, very good thing......but doesn't mean I'm going to be buying any of those bad boys any time soon!