4 Boys and a Bible

This afternoon I went to Starbucks to work on my stuff for Friday night.  I am not a coffee drinker, but I do love a Tall Chai Tea Latte.  Both of my sisters have been baristas at Starbucks and they introduced me to this wonderful, hot bit of goodness.  It did take me a long time to learn the name for some reason.....I kept ordering a Tall Tai Chi Latte.  Um, yeah, if you want to confuse someone at Starbucks, just order up a form of martial arts in a cup for yourself.  That'll do it.

I scored a big chair and was feeling pretty cool.  Had my iPod on, my iPhone at the ready in case someone needed me in a jiffy, and my spiral notebook out.  Spiral notebook?  Yep, they aren't just for 10 year olds.  They also come in handy for those of us who don't have laptops, but have serious work to do at Starbucks.  I was hoping all my iTech stuff would trump the spiral.  

Anyways, I'm a people watcher.  No one was more disappointed than I was when you could no longer watch people get off a plane and walk into the arms of a loved one.  I used to sit there and try to imagine what circumstance had brought people together.  I would cry during an incredibly touching reunion, cheer in my head when a boy thought to bring roses to greet his love, and feel sorry for the ones that were expecting someone only to be disappointed when their loved ones weren't present.  

I was sitting in my big chair, trying to concentrate when right outside the window I saw 4 gangly high school boys sitting at a table.  Most brought their own drinks and one was eating chips by tipping the bag right into his mouth.  One actually entered Starbucks to get a cup of water.  They were tall and goofy, laughing loudly at each other.  

Please understand that in getting ready for Friday night, I've been talking to a lot of teens and people who work with or live with teens.  It has been hard for me to not feel completely devastated by what our teens face on a daily basis.  It just seems impossible for any of them to pass through their teen years unscathed......most of them face situations that most adults I know would not be able to handle in a Christ-like way.  

For some reason I glanced out the window after the boys were settled.  And there I saw just what I needed to continue on.  

All four heads were bowed as they prayed.  

They were praying......in public, to a God that they were trying to model their lives after.  I was so moved because it was so unexpected.  They proceeded to talk to each other, take notes in spirals (told you I was cool), and open their Bibles.  

I wanted to jump out of my comfy chair and run out to them - just to tell them that I was proud of them for being strong.  I didn't, and I do regret that now.  I did take a picture of them......maybe I'll print it and tape it to the front of my spiral!

Rejuvenate

On April 3, I will be speaking at a teen girl's event at our church called "Rejuvenate".  It is going to be an incredible event for these girls, complete with a Guy Panel.  What I would have done for a Guy Panel when I was in high school.

Um, yeah.  So, you know, how do guys feel about, like totally, being wrestled to

the ground as a sign of affection?

To say that I was awkward in high school is an enormous understatement.  I never even learned to stuff my bra correctly, even though my good friend donated hours of her time to the cause.  But then she dotted all her i's with a heart and I could never get that one down, either.

I grew up going to a Christian school and then went to Baylor University which is a Baptist college in Waco.  To tell you that it was easy for me to lead a Christian lifestyle is a gross understatement.  I learned a ton about God, His love for me, His character, the Bible......I was a pro at memorizing scripture.  Don't even try to race me in finding the book of Joel, I will beat you every time.   

I left college after getting my Master's degree and moved to Houston.  That, my friends, is when the wheels came off.  You see, I knew a lot.......but a lot of that knowledge was head knowledge.  It didn't take up residence in my heart.  When I moved out of an environment that was "easy" and into a life where I had to CHOOSE to seek out God and spend time with Him, I failed. Miserably.  

On April 3, I have to stand in front of girls that face things every day that would make most women my age crumble.  I have to stand there and tell them something that will make a difference.  I could talk about their self-esteem.  I could talk about who they are in Christ.  I could talk about guarding their hearts.

But, will it matter the next time they are in a situation where they have to choose between right and wrong in a split second?

I feel like God is telling me to share more about having a real, solid relationship with Him.  A personal, pick His voice out of the screaming chaos in our heads, kind of relationship.  You see, those things I could talk about are important, very important, but don't matter unless there is a relationship present that makes you care about the kind of life you live.

The problem is that I have only really figured this out for myself in the last year or so.  The complete devotion to finding out more about the One I serve.  The absolute craving of time spent alone with Him.  Wanting to live my life in a way that is pleasing to Him.  Being excited about the plans He has for me no matter how much it stretches me to an uncomfortable limit.  

I so, so, so, so wish I had not wasted so many years.  My relationship with God has always been genuine, my love has not.  I know that sounds harsh, but I'm just being honest.  

So, my challenge is to communicate with these sweet girls the absolute importance of falling in love with their Savior.  I'm excited about the way I'm going to share this with them.  God has definitely been working with me on that.  It is going to be real, honest, and relevant for where they are today.  And I am working extra hard at being super cute that night.....because that matters to them, too.  

I would love to hear some input from some of you.  If you don't want to comment here, or don't know how, please email me at kerijenkins@sbcglobal.net.

Whether you consider yourself spiritual or not, something drives the decisions you make.  What is it?  As a Christian, do you feel like your relationship is more head knowledge or heart knowing?  At what point did your relationship with Christ drive the choices made in your life?  

Believe me, there is not going to be any judging on my part.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am one of God's most frustrating children.  I drive him absolutely nuts, I'm sure.  Dumb choices, wacky priorities, bad living.........I've done it all.  I'm just looking for more insight because I feel incredibly unqualified to teach these girls.  

Which probably makes it a perfect scenario because God is going to have to do all the talking.

Green Doesn't Look That Great On Me

I'm not going to lie.  It's been a rough couple of days.  I do have some raging hormones right now, which certainly does not help the cause.

I went to Bible study this morning.  I've been doing the Esther study at a friend's church - supporting her in her first gig as a discussion group leader.  I'm supposed to be her assistant, but I've totally dropped the ball on that one.

As we were sitting in our small group, discussing last week's homework, I could just feel my smile getting sucked right out of me.  I felt disconnected from everyone and was certainly not jumping in with answers as quickly as my friend, Posey, would like for me to.  I'm her "if the crickets are chirping cuz noone is talking" go to girl.  Not usually at a loss for words in my corner of the world.  

She asked me to pray at the end and I told her no.  I said it more with my entire face as she started to realize that I was teetering on the edge of an emotional waterfall.  When I feel that emotional, I just can't pray out loud because then I lose it.  Which is fine, but I prefer to be in the privacy of my home, facedown on my bedroom floor when I pray/ugly cry in a way only my Father can understand.

We then went to watch the Bible study video and I cried most of the way through it.  One time Posey tried to console me and I told her not to be nice to me.........I was barely hanging on, people.  One sweet hug would have created a scene as well.  At the end of the study, Posey whips out a PJ Chang gift card and announces that she's taking me to lunch.

Hallelujah!!  Thank you God for giving me friends that know what I need!  I needed some Sesame Chicken and quick!!  

After we ordered, she looked me straight in the eye and said, "What is bothering you?".  I gave her some sort of pat answer.  She was not convinced so she asked me again, "What is bothering you?".

"I'm just honestly jealous that everyone else's life is going forward as normal and I am here, trying to be faithful through a crisis."

There was only a slight pause before she lovingly responded to me.

"I am going to thump your head."

What??  Where is the coddling?  Where is the sympathy?  I got a thumping all right.  She quickly reminded me of what I do have.  I have a loving husband, healthy kids that I enjoy being around, a career that can help support us, and an incredible group of friends.  No way was she going to let me sit there green with envy.  

"Try again, what is REALLY bothering you?"

"Honestly, I'm a little afraid of how far God will let this go."

Now I know what all of you are saying.........believe me, I know.  I know we will look back at this point in our lives and see God's hand all over it.  I have already seen God's provision.  I also know God well enough to know that He will refine me through this process.

I'm just praying that I will be a quick learner.

A couple more things and an excuse to post another picture......

A couple of things I forgot to mention in the "I Survived" post......

1.  After getting home and taking a long hot shower, without being on the constant lookout for large bugs, I spent some quality time with my best friend, the Tweezerman Tweezers.  I innocently stepped up to the mirror and almost took out my eye with the tweezers I was so frightened.  Yes, I will be one of those woman who has to enlist a good friend to visit the nursing home 3 times a week for plucking duty.  

I derived some sort of comfort in thinking that maybe the extreme chilly conditions in the evening was invoking some sort of bodily response to produce fur, I mean hair, to keep me warm. It was truly horrifying.  And while I am all about honesty here on this blog, I don't love you guys enough to chronicle my transition to Wolf Woman in photos.  I'm sure the mental image is scary enough.  

2.  I did successfully encourage all 3 of my boys to shower and change underwear one time in the 2.5 days we were there.  That was my biggest goal, so all and all, the trip was a success.  In case I was met by refusals, I had about 3 friends on standby for an emergency extraction if I had to sleep with 3 very dirty, smelly men people and a dog.  I do have my limits.

3.  I was in complete awe of the night sky and all the stars.  Yes, I've seen many stars in my day, but there were so many and they were incredibly bright.........Lite Brite kind of bright.  I was humbled and my inner self bowed a knee to my Maker.  He placed every star in the sky and yet still knows me by name.  This city girl just doesn't feel worthy sometimes.

I Survived!!

This image says it all.  I have to admit that it was beautiful.  The weather was perfect, and who knew how much better food tasted when you're camping?  This picture was taken by a very out of breath momma who saw a photo op from VERY far away and sprinted to the dock to take advantage.  Ran through people's campsites and all.........that alone screams ROOKY!!  But honestly, who can resist a sunset, a boy, his dad, their dog and a fishing pole?  

Boys and their Grandpa setting out to go fishing.  They didn't catch one thing the whole time we were there.......not even a nibble.  G would go multiple times a day to fish and would stay for hours.  N, not so much.  He was only interested in practicing the casting part........meaning, as long as he was throwing a line with a sharp object and worm on the end, he was happy.

Ok, take one wild guess which air mattress was mine........any guesses?  Yep, the pink fuzzy blanket is a dead giveaway.  I don't own a sleeping bag.....a fact that made my husband gasp as we were packing to go.  I'm not sure why he was so surprised since he KNOWS my lack of camping experience and I don't go to many slumber parties anymore.  Sleeping bag has not been high on my priority shopping list.  

Needless to say, chuckles all around as I pulled out my fitted sheet, top sheet, and cute blanket my sister made for me (it's pink so it won't get stolen by my men, it's 6 feet long so it covers me head to toe, and it has my name embroidered on it).   I froze the first night, literally froze.  My husband came to my rescue in the wee hours humming a ZZ Top favorite.....a little "Slip Into My Sleeping Bag".  No worries, this is a family blog........and all I was interested in was getting back to my dream, quickly.

This was the night before we left.  A little sunburned and very tired.  If you look closely, you can see the lids of the Wolf brand chili cooking on the fire for our chili dogs that night.  I had been eating like I was starved the whole day and I was still excited about those chili dogs.  Until about 1:00 a.m. when all that camp food decided to come back for a visit........nothing like stumbling around in a very dark tent, trying to unzip the door so I could walk 400 feet to the bathroom.  Good times, my friends, good times.  It didn't stop me from eating the very best pancakes I've ever had the next morning.  No sir, because I am a team player.......and apparently now, I am a camper.  

Heaven help us all.

Change of Plans

**Update:  I am currently packing, getting ready to head out for the 'ol campground.  It doesn't help that I have, what I have self-diagnosed to be, a case of pneumonia.  Nothing like some good, fresh, East Texas air to cure that right up!  My boys....all 3 of them....are so excited and I felt that I could not let them down. 

I'm thinking one trip with a squealing, bug hating, showering-insisting mom will cure them all from extending the invite again.  This as an investment in future weekends alone.  Wish me luck........

Our original Spring Break plans included a trip to California to wander around San Francisco for a weekend with my parents, followed by a sight seeing trip to see those really big trees, whose name escapes me right now.  Then down to Southern California to see my Grandmother, brothers, sister-in-law, and nephew.  

After "That Day", we cancelled the trip.......or postponed it for another time.  Instead we are heading out tomorrow to go camping.......the kind that involves a tent.  And bugs.  And boys who laughed when I asked them how many changes of clothes they take.....apparently they don't believe in changing their clothes when camping.  

I love the outdoors......I really do.  Nothing moves me more than being alone in God's creation.....it is just that I like to enjoy room service while admiring said creation.  I have to admit, I'm on the fence about going.  I originally agreed in the name of family togetherness.  I am just wondering if too much togetherness is really good for us.  Especially when my brand of togetherness tends to lean toward insisting on a new pair of underwear and brushed teeth on a daily basis.  I know, I'm a radical.  

In other Spring Break news......we are in charge of Scraffy, the 2nd grade pet hamster.  Our rotation with him began Tues and lasts until Thurs.  If you read about our experience with Buddy, you can understand my slight nervousness about taking on the class pet.  Who wants to have the mom who kills off the class pet?  N would be socially doomed for all eternity if something happens to sweet Scraffy.  I swear, Barnes, our 90 pound mutt, licks his lips every time he sees Scraffy.  Scraffy looks like nothing more than a Snacky to Barnes.

I did get to go on a date with my 10 year old today.  Scot and N are in College Station watching the Aggies get their hineys kicked in a baseball game against UNM.  G and I went to go see Race to Witch Mountain.  It was a VERY entertaining movie....so much better than I had anticipated. We then went out for wings and I was once again amazed at how much my 5 foot tall 10 year old can put away in one sitting.  Scot better get on with finding a job because feeding these boys is going to get more and more expensive.  

Scot has vivid nightmares, I mean memories, of going home with me for Christmas and watching my 6'8" brother order an appetizer, salad, and TWO entrees....devouring it all.  We may quickly gain some sort of appreciation for the Golden Corall Buffet.   

Professional photography is most certainly not in my future, but you get the idea.  Please pray for me as I make the important decision of going camping......tent, bugs, dirty underwear....or staying home.  Alone......by myself.......where it is relatively clean and I'd have an entire king size bed all to myself.  

The Wall

I was asked to teach our Sunday School class today.  Instead of coming up with my own theme, I continued in Nehemiah where our regular teacher had left off.

Nehemiah is one cool dude.  In fact, from here on out we're going to call him Neh, because he would've probably really liked that.  If you've never studied the guy, I highly recommend it.  Like many stories in the Bible, you start to read it and can't put it down thinking the whole time, "Who needs Twilight?  This stuff is great!"  You have the lead guy, Neh, a couple of thugs, lots of suspense, adventure, and intrigue.  Spoiler alert........God and Neh win in the end.  

Neh was chosen by God to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.  Honestly, it makes me happy God just asked me to work in Women's Ministry.......I don't know that I would be a good wall builder.  In fact, I'm giggling right now just thinking about it.....yikes! 

There were a couple of guys that had been giving Neh all kinds of grief when he started.  Insulting him, his mother......they were all up in his grill.  (I'm paraphrasing a little....and throwing in some ghetto to spice things up.)  Neh took it all in stride, never stooping to the level of hurtling insults back at these guys.  He would just pray and ask God to get 'em.

When the thugs got tired of insults alone and had gotten enough people worked up into a frenzy to back them up, they started talking about fighting the Jews working on the wall.  Not verbal fighting, the kind of fighting that will have me plugging my ears and squeezing my eyes shut until it is all over.  

Neh was smart enough to know they were serious so he prayed.  Then, he started forming a plan to protect the walls that were already built.  You know what he did?  He placed entire families in position along the wall to guard it.  Many times these families were at the lowest place in the wall.

I spent a lot of time thinking about that.  Why in the world did he do that?  What was he trying to accomplish?  

I came up with a couple of thoughts.  

1.  You want to motivate a man to fight, you put his family right there in harm's way.

2.  You want to motivate a woman to fight, you put her babies right there in harm's way.

3.  It was far less distracting to the man to know his family was all there, not in the city where they could be in danger.

The thing that hit me was that it was an incredible opportunity for men to show their family how to protect and fight for what they believed in.  He had his family there to back him up, encourage him when he didn't think he could go on, love on him if he was wounded, and watch him so they could take his lead in fighting.  

Suddenly this story became more real.  I was hit hard with this truth.  Scot does not have to stand at the wall alone fighting for our family.  We can stand there together, each of us bringing our own strengths to the battle.  We have been given the opportunity to show our children how to stand in faith and the knowledge that we serve a mighty God and to fight the enemy that is determined to destroy us.  

Scot, you will not stand alone.